Coping with the health emergency from my den

After Monday's entry on the other blog, thoughts on here go managing in the current Coronavirus crisis which is trying because someone with my health conditions is more at risk of catching it and also I react badly to being shut in as it were.

Fortunately this part of the district is not so densely populated so while the general advice might be stay in so long as I keep to more secluded areas such as the woods and farm tracks I can cut risks back while getting fresh air.
It also tend to curb my urges when shut in to act more like a caged tiger lashing out at anyone and anything.

It is possible to get most everyday stuff from shops within walking distance without mixing with large crowds such as foodstuffs, comics and painkillers avoiding the city centre and crowded buses.

While I'd sooner be there cos I like the big stores, markets and museums, I can read books, watch dvds and play music which will help keep my mind off things particularly if I may have a slight cold avoiding making things worse.
When you're low on spoons, you are more likely to pick things up.

I can rely on neighbours and dad getting anything I may need from further away.

What is a Girl?

I noticed more by accident the other week, something I talked about several years back was being discussed at a site with links back here so thought I'd write something about about it here a few years on.

Being a girl is...being how her feels in you, as it comes out of your own feelings as expressed by you in dress, interests and play.

In so far as being an adult little girl goes, it doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not, if you have a sexual side in your life or the extent to which you are able to let this side of your life out at home or around your local area.

Being either transgendered or gender fluid/variant and of any and no sexuality does not make a  difference  to being and your ability to let the adult little girl you feel out so long as ...you feel Her in you.

There is no one model you have to confirm to.

You may prefer to dress more like a younger child or 'Baby' , a young child which may be dresses, dungerees or shorts or more Middlish looking Tween or young teen.

You might do more party or school type attire if that's you (I like sitting behind a desk in school attire doing exercises) depending on circumstances such as the ability to spend time with a few others.

You may have a Caregiver in your life. 

It really doesn't matter as little girl you is...You.

Some people do find their younger side may have a different gender presentation to their "Big" which may seem odd (and kinda threw me a few years back to be honest) but actually it's okay.

If that's you then please come presenting as that  Little Girl for the period - a little consistency during play helps - bring something with you and you know we'll share teddies, dollies and play even if your "Big" presents as male.

Those of us who aren't super frilly won't kill you if your presentation  goes out that way.
The only thing we aren't so keen on is people who take being a female, especially a little girl and project an overriding sexual side to it (We appreciate Adults often have a sexual side but that stay's in the bedroom and never at little girl playtime!).

It was my experiences elsewhere with "sissies" who tended to push a very full on sexual side linking femininity with subservience, ritual humiliation, who also by clearly linking being a girl as an insult, insulted our sense of being,  co-opting part of our identity for that whole "humiliated as a girl" thing rather than them being a girl if frankly they rather liked it even in short doses or enjoying their maleness if that was them, that troubled me.

Riding Freedom

Seeing we've just started into the new month, I thought I'd kick off the first entry of March with something that goes back a few years where two friends and I read a book together, sharing our thoughts on it.

 Written in 1998 by Pam Munoz Ryan, Riding Freedom is a fictionalized story about a mid 1800's pioneering woman, Charlotte Parkhurst who was raised in a orphanage for boys  that tells the tale of her life from escaping the orphanage, becoming a legendary stagecoach driver as "Charley", getting a ranch of her own in California and being the first American woman to vote.
While the book has received a number of positive reviews from people such as the School Library Journal and I loved the gritty female emancipation theme it contains, I wasn't to taken with the way it was written.
To me it feels more a straight on fictionalized retelling of a life being more an account of  "Charley's" life from the orphanage , escaping life limited to domestic  chores  to owning a smallholding than a actual story, fascinating for the historical detail but lacking in character development in areas like examining in detail how she felt and how whole incidents really played out.
This was especially noticeable in the secondary characters such as Ebeneezer as we seldom really got to know them, having more a cursory description  that lift them more into your minds eye although there was so much that could of been made of it.
A disappointment.

Thoughts on being away

As you may of noticed I was actually away last week and on the other blog  I did publish an account of that time in something like chronological order which is more the how and the what part of this thing.
It's usually the thing on this blog to look more at what I felt about that time and what if anything I had learnt from that time away cos apart from ouchie content, this blog is about the emotional side of life.

 One thing to talk about is unlearning the Cotton Wool  people misguidedly put you in as a disabled child because they feel you need more protection but the trouble is that leaves you not to learn how to survive and to actually grow which requires a certain amount of resistance not unlike in working out you start off low increasing as you become stronger.

You do need risk and being challenged even accepting your limitations so you learn to work at the almost extent of your abilities, getting the most out of life and actually maturing a little, learning to deal with say climbing over rock, walking carefully sideways to get along ledges is something I had to learn rather than run away from this week.

Same goes with dealing with winds even if needed support, I had to learn to accept and trust that rather than chickening out or screaming my head off when the going got tough, finding courage and inner strength.

I've been there and done that and I dare say I'm not alone in it but I need to be better because such an set of attitudes limits my own enjoyment of life with the actual disabilities I've got so I need to use and develop my abilities too.

I know I made one miscalculation in that week but I lived going out of my comfort zone and did stuff I never managed before which didn't just feel good to me but also impressed others not by droning on about my disabilities but actually using the abilities I have.

Ditto helping out whenever I could doing chores to make a contribution to other peoples enjoyment and getting the feeling of being a net contributor to everyone's enjoyment of our time together rather than just using people to meet my own needs.

I think I'm moving on.

n

Past lives that feed into the present

 Following on from last week we're back to Summer 2012 and a classic post at one site.

 I love very kawaii Hello Kitty slipper socks.

I noticed some people have been about concepts such as 'shame' in connection with acknowledging a male past when living 24/7 as a woman but how many of you who have little interest in more childlike interests have ever considered how those of us who do feel?

Depending on your circumstances you may not necessarily be able to share some information about your interests at work or even within your own family, having to remove the evidence before any visits to your place. And then there all that misinformation in the popular press sticking the 'p' word on us with no real justification.

This said I'm not ashamed of this side of me at all because it's always been a part of me in real life as much as I've been at this site. 

Here's to mutual toleration and understanding. 

Moving forward by going back

 

Covid has come and much of what went on before will just not happen thanks to regulations and what naught so really this blogs focus will be lacking less a direction and more an opportunity to so we need to think more about what this will be about.

I feel we need to move away from what had been the "bread and butter" of posts from the last few years and focus more on things around my feelings and emotions as little, finding the time between the regulations to go out on my swing and just play more.

Things will be different.

Sanriotown issues and more

 It was with some shock to find on Friday last an activity that had been a part of my internet life for a long time just wasn't available outside of the other business talked about elsewhere and still isn't available as I type this.

For almost as long as this blog has been going, Sanriotown.com was the first port of call not just for The Game but also things such as the busy forum where by design discussions were never 18+ which suited me as most adult conversations go over my head and don't really fit in my life, offered wallpaper and screen-savers.

They also has something I just adored, a oh so kawaii email with customization of the domains for whatever sanriotown character you liked  which for me meant I had a me @hellokitty.com email address that linked directly to things such as ecards you could people at Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas and that

When I went to look at it, my email had gone with over a decades worth of stored emails from past organizations and acquaintances 

The overall impression is that sanriotown.com and Hello Kitty Online is for all intents and purposes dead joining other sites we used such as experience project, friends reunited, beststuff and the GeoCities blogging platform in the internet graveyard. 

Something else I wish to get off my chest is I have no interest in sissification and all it's female dominate misandry driven tropes having had more than enough people on tumblr and on other no longer with us sites try to bracket me in with all that stuff.

I'm into age regression, being an adult but acting from a age regressed little/middle girl mindset where everything is from my own childhood era what it was and seen as suitable for an actual child not some kink based game.

I like boys as in adult males who are age regressed to be just that, with gumption, purpose and to act and dress like one not in ridiculously exposing super fussy dresses that no girl would be seen dead in while being treated in grossly humiliating fashion by bossy women.
I feel it's wrong to 'make' boys like that and a insulting parody of real femininity.