Pushing away

As I'm typing this it's raining hard  from what I can make out of the gloom just showing through my bedroom window at this hour so whither or not I get outside remains to be seen although after another day where the politicians singularly failed yet again discussing and voting on trade options after the EU but NOT passing an actual withdraw agreement that EU Rules require before they can start negotiating trade outside of it with us.
It's hardly surprising then that a return to the constants in my life has been around in the last month or so across the board as much as because all that "groan up" stuff I've struggled with motivation. 

I have been spending more time out not just walking although I have been doing that too but also sat in the park, just focusing on what's around such as the various flowers that are starting to emerge from the winter, passing insects and birds and trying to keep my mind more more on what I need to do rather than being diverted toward those things that really I have little control over.
I have been doing a bit more reading, reading more of the kinds of stories I loved in original childhood with mysteries and adventures and connected with it spending a bit more time on a website for people who like that kind of fiction, talking with them.
Being in more of a child-like mindset makes for a big difference not least when as it was at the weekend Mother's day over here cos our relationship is still very much child to parent.
As well I have been around SN as tensions lead to toward issues in my emotions and breakdowns when it comes my behaviour that can be talked through as much as with someone like me spanking or at the very least a reminder of its likelihood really helps with it as I easily get into oppositional conduct striking out.
That sites recent changes seem to have reinvigorated it not just in having a software update but also when it comes to interaction with more discussion as well as 'fun' threads.

Mother's Day weekend

While the silliness in the groan up world continues unabated, yesterday when I was working away on writing this was over here, Mothering Sunday/Mother's Day which obviously meant that I got mine a card - pretty funny in an affectionate way actually - and a present.

There's something in the argument that thanks is best served frequently when it is often our Moms do things for us typically when they have other things to be doing to and it can be in the form of things we do for them but it's probably as well to have a focus for showing our appreciation such as a nationally recognized day.

That said I did channel my Inner Brownie too as I was doing things for the community such as delivering a magazine when I faced a pretty big challenge as making way around putting them in letter boxes I noticed a large temporary structure outside one property.
This structure on wheels with brakes started from the upper storey windows and came right to the ground totally obstructing access to the door and letter box being low and not having much height between the individual bits so I wasn't inclined to crawl under it to get to the door!
I started to think what I had on me as there didn't seem to be much activity so knocking on the rear door wasn't going to be an option and I had this idea that involved taking an elastic band the magazines had come bundled with, wrapping it around the magazine  which I could roll up into a tube shape and hooking that on the far end of the door handle.
There was just about a metre and a quarter I could just about stuck my hand through to get to the door handle so having rolled the magazine up and wrapped the band around it on the second go I got on and was able to pull it back toward me to make it secure.
A great example of resourcefulness and being prepared I'd say as I don't know many who'd go to that much trouble to deliver their magazine.

Beware of the Law of Unintended Consequences

This week ought to be interesting with the amazingly awful shenanigans around Brexit having some more performances to play out in the Commons  with deals, amendments, only if you leave and other add ons just to make things more complex than they really need to be.
It also will end where the provisions of the UK requirement for verified proof age to use 18+ sites anywhere on planet earth will start to kick in although tech commentators are saying as much material exists on not expressly adult content sites it will fail ultimately.
I can be reasonable sure access to one site I signed up to a few years back will go because it is attached to commercial services which is the main target although it's a stand alone site simply because they won't implement with  charge per user a verification scheme that matches what UK law will require.
That may well go on a whitelist for ISP based blocking.
I'm not so convinced Fur Affinity necessarily will be blocked as the site does allow over thirteens with toggle nsfw protections for adults and a block by design for those under plus it's a general furry related art site which isn't commercially focused - artists do any commissions etc off site.
It's unclear if things like Reddit that have adult content reblogs will be blocked either as there is a point at which "Overblocking" occures and this causes more issues than what the blocking was intended to prevent although you'd be hard pressed to find a person in the UK Houses of Parliament that really understands how the internet and websites really work.
Mainstream social media such as Facebook, Tumblr et all should be unaffected.
Be aware sites of a more private nature will be off limits but as some pointed out during the passage of the legislation, this act of parliament only encourages the young to experiment using Virtual Private Networks or install Tor which just involves a few mouse clicks and they are at risk then from *anything* on the so-called dark web.
There is I suspect a very good reason no other Country has tried this approach  to dealing with genuine concerns about they young having access to adult content.

Evolving online times

This coming week or so is looking like a pretty draining one to be honest with large scale Political instability over here (we'll skip the groan up political stuff behind it, it's just bad shall we say) and because of upcoming changes in UK law that in likely to bring in  age verification though registering details to a provider to access some sites if if like me you're strictly sfw although how effective this might be in practise remains to be seen.
I most admit I am taking a more pragmatic approach to it because sometimes you sign up to sites and through a combination of changing interests and time constraints you really don't us them that much.
So from that point of view there are a couple of sites I have effectively outgrown that makes losing access to them no real loss but there are a few others such as FA that  I do find handy keep in touch with favourite artists and friends and they won't be adopting the scheme the UK government wants so either it slips through as they're more into commercial ie money making sites or not.
The likes of Tumblr aren't effected nor as far as I'm aware Similar Worlds.
Sometimes it's hard to believe this blog has been around in its present form for some thirteen years since I moved from a freebee on an early social media site that's no longer with us to blogger which remains a popular choice for long form blogging.
It's seen various places come and go such as Google+, Yahoo360, Geocities, friends reunited, tinier me and the experience project in all that time in a variety of interactions with people, some good, some not so good.
You could say the only real certainty is that cycle keeps on repeating itself  so having stand alone structures for your blogging still makes sense.

What we need today

In a week that has seen much that has a major impact on us such as the political meltdown over "Brexit" in parliament and not least the Christchurch massacre on Friday that cost the lives of 49 innocents at prayer I think outside of our concerns and prayers we need to refocus on what is right in the world.

 SOURCE:ami-lkshake
This is also important if like me you are dealing with having to complete a form that is very negative in how it focuses  in the way you are impacted by your conditions because it leaves you feeling not just tired from doing it, but also with a very negative depressing view of your life.
We need to remember that life goes on, that we are human with the ability to feel and help others who are upset or ill.
We came into this world with an innocent heart that enjoyed the simple pleasures of life and even now those things can help us cope with what life throws at us  in time helping us to heal what is on our minds.
Even when we are are not well, to focus on those things helps our day.

Floral relaxation

It has been a somewhat turbulent week not least today with current affairs so I'd sooner move on to something more soothing

 Although we're alternating between seasons having had when I typed this snowfall followed by brilliant sunshine followed by drizzle it is proving fine for blossoms out of doors and indeed even indoor ones as these flowers I had for my birthday are surviving well.
I find looking at flowers very relaxing just having to change the water every so often and typically they last a few weeks by which point I usually replace them.
I'm slowly but surely working through the PIP form with just a couple of bits to do before photocopying and mailing it back

Do people pay attention any more?

Moving a little from really what most of last weeks entry was about one thing I do feel like talking about is just how little attention some people take to what you have posted and written on site profiles BEFORE starting to message you or even commenting on a post.
It never ceases to amaze me the level of ultra low grade messages sometimes no more than literally "Hi"  I get at one site.
Like you have chosen to open up a conversation with somebody but have offered up nothing at all to actually talk about such as what I have mentioned on my profile or my 'stories' that are about my actual life not being the works of a fictional genius when you ask dumb questions like "Have you been spanked" when in seconds you'd find an entry or two about just that by merely looking at that profile. and looking at groups and stories.
Then there is what I am open about, namely because of an industrial injury my hands are damaged to the extend I can't do as much for myself as I did needing assistance with everyday living which means I am not inclined to retell whole experiences over and over again in messages and I may not able to reply for a period because I need to keep what limited function for far more important tasks in my life than reply to your inane messages.
There is a note that clearly says that and yet so many just ignore it wanting a slice of my very limited abilities to type.
This is before we get into those who want to play 'scenes' with me even though in my life nothing not least the spanking part are 'scened' as if it's just a role play  so much that they are the agreed sanctions that happen in real time to the rules around my attitudes and behaviour I agreed with various people to try to help me and not a fun, kinky based thing.
I'm glad at SN I'm the not the only one who doesn't and doesn't like like been told I'm just sceening or role playing this.