New year thoughts

I have a lot of things to think about this year like for example just how I slot my regressed life, having accepted I'll never truly be an adult around the edges of adults when it comes to getting the to understand I can never be them in a world where all to often only full adult needs are seen as those to meet.
I am working on being more upfront with people about my limitations when it comes to people may provide a service such as shops in the way I have with health professionals like doctors because there are things they can do to help and in some areas legally they are kinda meant to because the things that are difficult stem from my disabilities that I can't help.
Another thing dear reader is I NEED you to remind me that IF I don't want the spanking I WILL get for my attitudes and behaviour, then  I AM to change them because they ARE the consequences that arise from them.
That's because Nobody will accept my excuses from now on.

Year Zero for Jo

So 2014 has been and gone.
New years usually lead to talk of New Year Resolutions and goals and for me this year it's gonna be different 

Because my behaviour and attitudes are causing problems for me and especially to others, this week marks the first in the year where a combination of age-play, caregiver/little relationships and strict corporal punishment are coming into my life.
Something needs to happen with and TO me to move me on as for years I have failed to leaving me neither a fully independent mature adult nor a responsible child leaving me stuck in the worst of all worlds.
This Christmas, I had to buy new paddle for my Mentor  to be used on me from now on to keep me on track.

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I'm on an accountability program with a Mentor where I have to submit reports connected that that weeks aims.
My stack of cards not least the disability one has been removed from the pack I could play or count on others letting me of for although any physical restrictions on what I may be to do will be respected.
If I fail it's gonna strike my bared ass making it all red, blustered and stinging hard for days as attempt to sit down as a long reminder of my poor behaviour and to help cure me of my motivational issues and there's the possibility of a clothes brush or slipper too.
I'm going to given these:

There is a agreed 'roll back' where He will have authority over me and I shall be junior Jo with him, required to present in my uniform to him, be scolded and have my bottom bared by him just like a child with no real authority.

I am the naughty child and He's the adult who is going to hold me accountable for my bad behavior. I  will have no say in the matter. No control over my punishment  as he will determine it from what we've agreed before. All I can do is accept the painful consequences wishing I had done better.  

 It's intended to be painful, embarrassing and unpleasant for me to teach me right from wrong and that there are consequences for naughty behaviour.

It's all set out in a contract  with all the sanctions and even the possibilities of extra paddling if I get three sanctions in a row although there are rewards in there too as my mentor would sooner reward me if my behaviour justifies it.

This year is not going to be the same as last year or the years before because I am to be  spanked just like a naughty child in a firm  consistent parental style he recognizes I need.
It will be a hard unpleasant year where I will have to adapt to the same sorts of rules and expectations as everyone else, I will have to learn to change the behaviour that will earn me my spanking because it is ME that has to change, not you or the rest of society.

I Understand. There Will be NO GOING BACK. You WILL spank my bottom whenever You feel the need to from now on.
It's why far from feeling sorry for me wanting to spare me this, you need to be encouraging and supporting me to change to be as responsible as you and reminding me I have choices that bring me consequences.

Is this what Jo wants, really?

This little one has a person who wants to help them as a little by working on my behaviour and is interested in spanking me to help me stop what has been a lifetime problems with my attitude to people and working to my best abilities.

Christmas Edition 2014

Well, now were officially a few days past it, here's my Christmas edition for this year where as ever I ramble on about Christmas as it lived by me.
The first thing to say is Christmas for me is first and foremost a littles affair, practically a childrens one starting with the great anticipation, the week before and building up on Christmas Eve where I sat with Mommy watching the Carols from King's concert on tv in one of my Pinafore Dresses before eating.
I was wake around Half past  Six Christmas Day with anticipation about which list of Santa's  I was one, hoping it wasn't the naughty one, getting washed and dressed  to comedown stairs (in our family you absolutely never come down stairs without being properly dressed, ever) and fix breakfast.
It wasn't long before the sacks were found and surprisingly I wasn't on the wrong list (with a bag of coal and a voucher redeemable for free smacks) so I started on opening them.
There were a number of Annuals, those perennials from my childhood where you got a softback book featuring cartoon strips from your favourite comics, extra features, quizzes  and games.

As the initiated know, I do read this comic a lot loving the adventures of Minnie The Minx, Dennis The Menace and the Bash Street Kids so here's this years annual.

A comic I used to love but has folded from weekly publishing was the Dandy with Korky the Cat and Desperate Dan of Cow Pie fame but they do specials such as this years annual so I was mighty glad to get that one.

 An author of books I love to read is Jacqueline Wilson and every year there's an annual out about her, the many stories she's written featuring Tracy Beaker (a heroine of mine) with tips on writing and drawing. I also got the Hello Kitty annual with stories and pictures you can colour.

Talking Kitty, I got a note pad and pencil from my Brother and partner which was pleasant surprise.
But the biggest surprise was yet to come.

Yes, my parents actually surpassed themselves and bought me this Grafix Build your own Teddy Bear kit that you stuff, sow the back and badge onto and fill out the Birth Certificate for!
I mean, you couldn't get so little with me me if you tried as this suitable for anyone over five (Foive in South Staffordshire speak) bear you can carry around with you hugging after completion.
After going out for lunch, I got changed into a Tartan skirt coming down the stairs in the late afternoon watching tv for a bit before we had a light evening meal as I was feeling a bit full.
One of my brothers forget his present so he's due to come back with it sometime soon while the other one realized he forgot to give my my main present so money that'll go toward some more blouses as I go through my closet replacing  and updating clothes.
Typed before evening meal in Red and Green GHS uniform with grey socks as I have no wish to have to wear trousers to eat at night with and the 'rent's are getting used to it!

Ready for Christmas, Jo?

Christmas comes but once a year and after that last minute intervention, I actually made it having gotten cards presents and family help done in time.

*** HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE ***

A slight matter of correction II

Spanking for me was last mentioned briefly in my Mid teens when I did say I preferred over it all other ways of disciplining me as they messed my head up more.
In the great  passing of time minus any really planned ways, much of stuff around personal conduct and rules short of say burning the house down was not really discussed so much as just drifted apart.

This would of been okay if for the fact that I was and do live at home and connected very much with what has in many ways left me very much developmentally an adult-child who while not being totally destructive or in any way abusive, not only lacks some ‘life skills’ but am disrespectful at times, lacking in self discipline so not doing important stuff sorting out bills and isn’t expected because of previous habits and parental attitudes to help in the home that also may help if I was to live more independently. I struggle very much without rules and guidelines being in place.

In many respects I have more in common with the very mid teen of that entry who can get a handful and the odd time in the recent past the only way Mom could stop me tailspinning if we were out was a discrete firm smack on my bottom.

If one was to have imagined a 12 to 14 year old me from back then, then the girl in this picture would of been it with longish smooth face and slim frame.

 I wrote a few entries back on the main blog in December 2014 about how my little sides presentation was changing from its early form including school uniform and how from now on that side would involve the wearing of a pinafore dress and 'proper’ blouse more like upper junior and junior high.

It’s also the case that wearing it indicates being subject to rules and unless there’s a good reason not to, then I am to wear my uniform because I am to be receiving individual guidance to change my attitudes around getting things done, keeping my space tidy, respecting my parents and doing the sorts of things a teen is expected to at home such as chores now.

Also like the child in the picture and a good number of teens I will be held to account much more for when I let myself and my folks down and this will include having my bottom spanked for infractions from now on.

Looking very much how with that drifting apart of old agreement of sorts and the problems the absence of any replacements and the difficulties I have in dealing with verbal chastisement, losing track of what’s said and being more and more stressed so in many ways it fails to curb my behaviour, I have agreed to be spanked because I can cope with that much better and it is works better in changing my attitudes and behaviour although it hurts.

Having to take my punishment with my knickers taken down, feeling every painful stroke, in tears is very much what I need.

I’m a long way from being good  functioning as an 'legal’ adult struggling with everyday tasks and social norms and have made my peace with it and this guidance with the non cp and cp punishment is its outcome.

In 2015, then, Joanne, an adult little school girl  will have childhood rules and having her bottom spanked restored to help her be more mature. I understand it isn’t everyone's idea but I feel it is the best way to help me make these overdue changes that will improve my life by being more mature and co-operative while providing the support I need.

Pinafore dresses II

This post goes back to December 7th, 2008 where I talked about what I loved about Pinafore dresses as a style and in particular what that meant to me so I wasn't really sure if a sequel was really called for but seeing that it was a very popular entry on this blog, in a way you dear readers have settled it.
You see I actually wore one at the Littles Party for two days no less and it confirmed much of what I wrote back then.

The first thing to say is I found wearing it extremely comfortable, with plenty of movement in the shoulders and arms which I quite enjoyed.
Also I did wear actual blouses with it which wasn't my original plan but it worked out fine, finding the dressing experience which is something I do find difficult in real life (not that anything in my life isn't) quite easy, getting myself in it and zipping myself up.
As was said by persons whose names I won't mention, actually it does really suit me going on my frame very well and they weren't flattering me as I have to say they were absolutely right about that.
I look as if I belong in them.

It's obvious then that I now know what works so with that, I shall be wearing more pinafore dresses in the future including a black one just like this with a pocket and I will be getting some more white blouses as they just look right under them as that also ties in with more girlization of the wardrobe as nearly everything else is apart from a couple of pairs of trousers regardless of what may happen in the future.
They are me.