Thoughts from Summer LG Camp Dorm

Sometimes this blog is more in sequence with its parent middles/littles slice of life one and there times when it's not but this is the Dorm side of Summer Littles Camp 2017, the account of my six days away so is best read in conjunction with it.
One of things around the main event of that period is because we just pay for venue as 'self catering' everything that we need we have to organize and to large extent make ourselves unlike say staying a hotel complex which both keeps the price reasonable and gives total exclusive access to the building and very secluded grounds so we can for that period be ourselves with our partners, caregivers and others as littles very openly.
To that end we have a chore list to which everyone including one Joanne has to keep to unless there are truly mitigating circumstances why you cannot do your stint to help ensure everybody pulls their weight, so for example on two occasions I set up for a dinner and one evening meal although the fall I sustained from the Sports Day activity meant I didn't do the other of two allocated evening meal setting ups and set up for breakfast.
In twenty-seventeen then Jo did not just accept someone covering for her one missed chore, thanking them but made up what she did not do with no fuss or prompting.
Equally when as it was getting toward time for our midday meal during the second arts and crafts session, with people drifting away although I was in pain with my aching back, I stopped behind helping the organizer everything up tidy up.

Having been verbally thanked for helping with that being told I was a good girl for being prepared to do this, I was presented with a stick on badge (pictured) for it.
In a similar vein I helped with the unloading, collecting together when we left  and unloading on return of the many things including sports equipment that made Sports Day possible for the person who looked  after me..
My attitudes and behaviour with them was very good  which can be shown by thinks like helping in making our meal on arrival, washing up, satisfactory setting a table when we arrived and I was tired and in discomfort including making the soft drinks for when they returned with our fish and chips.
I only needed a few brisk hand spankings for inattentiveness without good reason over my underwear just to sharpen me up the odd time which is extremely good as attitude and behaviour goes.
The Jo in twenty-seventeen is different from back in twenty-fourteen, that I think is the thing that is most apparent because that what I turned an deaf ear to whilst expecting to be told to help is becoming more the one who offers or even just does things without being asked.
It is because people have cared enough to reset what they expect from me that is within my abilities as painfully obviously limited as they are to much higher standards and to hold firm to them. It also has a lot to do with their preparedness to take me in my very child-like but adult form and spank me without fail when I fell short, letting myself and them down because it has made big improvement  since they started that and I feel more proud what I am becoming because it.

Summer Littles Camp 2017

 (Picture credits: UK Forestry Commission)

As mentioned on last Monday's blog, I was away for six days on what is called a 'littles' camp although I'm more a middle and it had more of a mainly  female flavour although little and middles boys aren't stopped from attending.
Put simply they are get togethers of littles and middles plus caregivers/partners where we enjoy doing more child-like age regressed things together.
For me attending requires travelling to one of our groups members setting out on the Friday while one bus was one time, the connecting service to our rail station went AWL so I got drenched in the rain for a half hour and then needed to use my cellphone on the bus to let the person I know I'd be on the next train down which as ever is a London Midland service.
The train only takes just over a half hour with two stops before I met with them as finished off some shopping while it rained making our way to the parking lot and driving down to their spacious house.
Wearing my red sweater and green pleated skirt I did some colouring until it was time to eat for which we had had pork chops, boiled cabbage and mashed potatoes with a glass of ginger beer watching some television before getting to bed ready for Saturdays drive down.
On the Saturday we set off around ten having had cereals and tea with myself in my black pinafore dress with its "Junior Prefect" badge affixed, red and white striped tie and grey socks sat in the front passenger seat as we navigated around Dudley and Oldbury stopping at zebra crossings for people crossing the road. This was necessary due to extensive work on the road network around Birmingham that weekend before heading toward St Neots and Cambridge making quick route alterations to avoid delays so we arrived at the large property in East Anglia for two in the afternoon ready for the fun and games meeting the two people who did the booking.
Open opening the door, a series of big paw prints seemed to around the door as the theme of the event was the Gruffalo stories by Julia Donaldson and apart from unpacking our stuff with help, I helped with setting up the chalkboard where the program would be put.
I fixed myself a cup of tea, ate a oatmeal bar and got on with a bit of colouring between meeting and greeting the other people as they arrived and taking some pictures.
Most of the group upon arrival ordered and collected various foods from a well regarded Indian takeaway to eat for an evening meal but the person who took and who looks after me had decided to make something ourselves.
Yes that was a plural cos it Twenty-seventeen and actually I'm expected to do things I am capable of so I peeled the potatoes and fetched the pans, filling them.
There was a mysterious gift that I believe was from a relative newcomer that was a small gruffalo backpack outside so thanks for that.
Soon enough Saturday moved around to Sunday where I did help a lot setting up for breakfast before the morning's activities began which was Arts and Craft where I made a gruffalo themed place mat in the form of a Fox back by card for extra rigidility with my name on it and did some gruffalo themed colouring although felt crafts were an option.
Miss Green presented a most agreeable selection of salad based Black Country fayre to which having lived here in the North-west Midlands for a good while I was most familiar with complete with beef dripping cooked British Chips for our midday meal.
The afternoon was a traditional British school style sports day for which I was in my yellow vest top, green PE skirt and white socks.
I took part in the bean-bag relay, rockets for softies and the sack race which was very much the final event for me as fell hard to the ground impacting the lower third of back  needing help to get up and being shaken up with it apart from suffering bad back pain with bruising.
There was archery and few other events but I was pretty much out of it by that point with people especially Caroline keeping an eye on me and also it meant I needed to rest so she and Kelly set the table for the evening meal which was my 'chore' so this is a good a point as any to thank them specifically and everyone else for their concern for my welfare.
Curly made a scrumptious beef stew with dumplings (potatoes were an option too but  I passed on that feeling off) and a meringue with a fruit topping which was very enjoyable.
Jillian laid on in the evening a general knowledge quiz which was entertaining and enjoyable too that Karla and Caroline won.
Miss Green concluded the evening by reading in the easy for some of us to follow black country accent the first Gruffalo story.

Upon Monday morning after breakfast we had some more arts and crafts so I opted to draw a picture of a friendly monster rabbit, make a Jack o' lantern and colour a picture although others did more crafts stuff and we all submitted our monster based pictures into a competition with Alice winning first  prizing and second and third respectively going to Daisy and Sammy.
Karla and Caroline  had put together a amazing gruffalo themed lunch with table settings to match with sandwich rolls, sausage rolls , pork pies, chicken legs and much salad. To top it they even made gruffalo themed cupcakes. Mouthwatering!
As it was going to soon Sally, Kelly and Suzy's birthdays signed cards were presented and birthday cakes bought to share.
After a period to let all that wonderful food go down, in the afternoon the Gruffalo Games started with a gruffalo version of the British childhood game British Bulldog, a gruffalo item hunt, placing the wart on the gruffalo competition and a couple of rounds of pass the parcel which I did win a prize in and from a lucky draw of prizes I got the Gruffalo dvd.
A number of us got balloons that made a loud squeal when having been blown up the air was released which resulted in a few of us definitely acting like kids.
Our  evening meal was a Gruffalo BBQ where hamburgers, hots dogs, marinated spicy chicken cheeses and the like were on offer and the meats cooked on an actual bbq before being kept in an oven while everything was finished and as the weather was very good , we had this outdoors.
Tuesday morning was a more chilled time where a number of us went outside and played croquet, took photographs as it was quite sunny plus seeing Andi had a stash of Bubble Wands went around running with trails of bubbles following us with Sammy and  I chasing around each other with them in a most child-like way.

Later on Curly put on a dress up session were we could put on different costumes, and maybe some face paint and just pretend to be some character or other which I'm sure many of us recall doing during our actual childhoods.
Lunch was ably provided by Becky who did spicy chicken fajitas with a salad but Miss Green and myself made Oxtail soup as that was more us before resting a short while.
The highlight of the afternoon was the gruffalo themed Treasure Hunt  that was held mainly outdoors by Alice although we did had come come in due to a brief shower, something much forecast for entire time but lucky didn't really materialize. This involved looking for clues that led to others. Afterward we had Owl Icecream served in cornets that was very yummy.
Our evening meal was fish and chips with the odd personal exception like a large chicken Jillian consumed, which we had phone in our orders for earlier on and to which a driver and assistance set out by car to collect and cakes and to which I'd set the table.
In the evening as our brief shower had left we sat outside by the picnic tables where I run the music quiz with twenty-two questions with four teams to work through the printed questions covering music from the nineteen-seventies to today.
The Not a Clues won with thirteen points winning the prizes of a Jacqueline Wilson colouring book (a fine colouring book i.m.h.o) and matching top quality colouring pencils.
After a short break, Daisy, an accomplished guitarist, performed a set songs drawn from the Lindisfarne and Dire Straits songbooks and a magical version of the Pink Floyd song Wish You Were Here which was very well received.
Wednesday soon came around so after individually we'd done our own packing, which if your like me you tend to a do a bit per day we got breakfast and systematically went around tidying up everywhere, sweeping up with the help of "Henry" the sweeper checking nothing was left behind  before packing our cars ready to leave.
I helped Miss Green with our packing as we had things like the sports equipment to transport before we left just after half past ten and arrived within three hours back in South Staffordshire.
Between unpacking which at one point did leave me thinking where did I put my trusty circa 2009 Canon camera we had some left over cakes from Camp and tea.
For tea Miss Green went to a nearby village and bought fish and chips with cakes from the local Co-op store which we had before watching C.I.S and a program about the making of sweets over the centuries on the television before bedtime.
I was up at seven to do the final bit of packing by which time it had started to shower so after a cereal breakfast and tea Miss Green left to go into town and drop me off by the rail station where upon I caught the 09:54 service to our big rail station where seeing it was still showing I got into a six seater black taxi to make my way to my house for just past eleven o' clock.

I would to thank every one who both attended and contributed something to making our time away fun starting with Karla and Caroline who as organizers came up with the Gruffalo theme  carrying it through with their own contributions when it came to catering, events such as the arts and crafts and Grufallo games. Your contribution was amazing.
I'd like to thank Curly, Miss Green, Becky, Daisy and Suzy with assorted helpers for your contribution with providing a midday and evening meal and Jillian with Sally-Jane for ordering and fetching the fish and chips without which they would be many empty tummies.
We don't presently have external caterers and I would support looking more into it so people don't need to pull away from little activities they enjoy to 'big up' for food.
I'll also thank the many activity makers who laid on events such as Mr. Paul with Karla for the disco and the folks who put on games, quizzes, art sessions or performed cos having a busy varied program really helps us bring out or little (or middle) side and engage with it.
My personal thanks to Miss Green for her hospitality at GHS and looking out for me throughout the whole time cos I do have real life needs in that respect.

If doing something like this appeals it need not be on a really big scale, you could have a day or two as a 'sleepover' as a group of two or three in a flat or house putting together a few activities to share although you may feel the need to check if you have a good sense of seclusion if you wish to play very much little (such as with pacifiers etc) out of doors.

The blame game

It's not something I like to admit to being truthful but it is the case that I easily get into situations where I do blame others either for the whole of something wrong I did or excuse myself  by saying "They started it".
This I think goes back to pre teens and certainly and perhaps not unlike a good number of people who have been in Politics, I certain have done this in adult life.
In many ways  now as then faced with a blame game involving two or more with me in it, I needed to be spanked along with the others not to lie my way out of punishment and to get the just consequences of my behaviour.

On being away

Today I'm not actually at home so I have written this entry up in advance as I have been busy from the middle of last week getting ready to go away for what is in effect my summer holiday, one that features my friends too.
I know that compared to a good number of others my many disabilities aside, I am actually privileged to be able to my life more as it best suits me and to have been able working with people to arrive at something that works respecting my very child-like nature, interests and vulnerabilities.
I am treated and looked after as the little girl within I am, helped to do as much as I can for myself and to contribute as her within my abilities in my relationship with others.
For me this period away might as well of been the vacation I always wanted as that child and why it is I love and only wish more were able to enjoy one like it.
Until next week, hugs Jo. x

Being me

I'm in the throes a busy time right now cos if you read the other blog, you'll know I'm not gonna be around for like six whole days cos apart from not taking my Chromebook with - easily the best hundred pound I ever spent - the internet is so flaky just two people using will bring it to a grinding halt apart from being dead slow when it works.
You might just wonder how it is I can run a vast blog empire with one set of  dodgy paws and to be honest even I do at times but it's cos I've learned a lot over the last few years to make the most of my time as a part of whole thing that's been documented from where I was.
It sounds incredibly counter intuitive but in my life we go backward to go forward, we work with the child within in her time so I learn the things that I failed to first time around be that math or just appropriate behaviour.
I have the settings within relationships I actually can handle and make use of  because we now accept I won't be fully adult so have set it at the level it belongs so I feel okay running those parts of my life and getting the guidance I need to help with that which really was what what passes as growing up with me really was meant to be about: Being independent within my limits and accepting I cannot be totally independent.
Handing back some of the areas I just wasn't managing may seem to some hard, even painful, but to be honest it's been a blessing not to get in messes, not to be at the point of having meltdowns as often as I did just to do what I can and enjoy my time as that adult-child in a similar way to an actual child does.

On relationships and life

While I was away this weekend an account of which can be found Here  I found myself thinking about the role of relationships in my life.
Relationships not least family ones have  played a negative part in my upbringing from distancing, not willing to get close to me or to encourage me to get closer, being more overly affectionate as well as a sense of suspicious  between family members that just corroded any meaningful sense of trust and security I ever had.
Living in a world where you always watched your back, where telephone conversations were bugged, people lurked behind doors listening in  and mail read took its toll on me even to the point I was writing or drawing stuff about it in my teens on correspondence and never kept a formal diary in case it was read which it would.
That's one of differences now cos I do but it's more online journalling it may be such as with my main blog an account of a day out or interests related or more about my moods and emotions cos it me understanding them and helps with having some record I can refer to.
One of the things that has altered for me now is how it is I am expected to co-operate and behave with other people and that's been a thing that's talked about here so when I was away I was expected to help with things such as setting the table, washing up and generally helping out.
I am also expected now to help in the kitchen with making whatever we are going to eat even if some tasks may be done for me because I am expected to use my abilities to contribute whatever my disabilities may prevent.
If I do something wrong that I know I shouldn't like trying to cut things on the top of the sink where I'd either mark it or risk injuring myself which I did, then I was spanked there and then for it to ensure I learn from it which I was
What I longed for as an adult little girl is the simple love and affection of a forever mother and father figure who will help me feel loved, wanted and secure so I can grow.
Was that too much to ask?
I think after thinking over how things have been not this weekends time spent with one who does looks after me the answer has to be no because they are actively engaged in making me grow, feeling secure but at same time prepared to discipline me.
It was and is what I truly needed.

Tumblr adventures

First off, after some can we, can't we thoughts, I'll be away from Friday thru Sunday so the next edition may be delayed as the bigger priority will be the middles/little blog which itself might be a day late having to write it upon return.
This has meant part of this week has been about getting things ready for while I will be away, ensuring the blogs are as up to date as possible and also tidying up some of blogosphere that has built up over the years  including rebuilding the tumblr that was formerly  attached to this blog for a number of reasons that include interaction of the kind I never consented to having to dealt with twice daily, people following my other totally sfw one who were actual very nsfw cos they confused them and the ease you mix up your reblogs.
Part of reason to is connected why this blog has changed - for the better - the focus is more on me as a person and what I like and need rather than the narrow context of spanking so rather than tweak a tumblr I thought it was time to just make a clean start and build up an entirely new following from that standpoint.
Another thing I'm super happy about is my BFF has done something similar from a different direction  namely  to create a totally new completely sfw cute blog cos mixing posts between a sometimes nsfw non sexual tumblr and a sfw age regression tumblr either in a community like mine or not is a no especially with minors.  It's also nice just to have a blog that's just cute age regression stuff.
As well my community has tidied up the rules so they are clearer making them easy to understand and added a simple application system so we know who is in it and can find each other.
It does mean we can reblog each others sfw posts easily where both are now tumblr  blogs that are purely sfw age regressed ones.
This is so great!