Corner!

I really asked for it last night in littles chat making a off hue remark when the Grown Up moderating it told me in front of everyone I was to go in the corner for ten minutes, nose to the wall.
It was so embarrassing to be told that way like I'm a child but it was a good reminder to me of the reality of being a middle because you get the same child-like discipline you'd of gotten as a child and the importance of behaving properly.
That's is better for me.

This last weeks lesson

If you were wondering what had happened to last weeks edition, the explanation for that is actually pretty straightforward in that I was away for a quite a period with no internet access to speak of and even if it was halfway reliable, I still lack a tablet like the Microsoft Surface to make blog publishing easy as using a virtual keyboard isn’t that easy if you’re as un-coordinated as I am.
But the reason I’m actually writing this edition seven days later is connected very much to my experiences which I’m also working on writing up into my main SFW blog which is being away, having to live with a Parent-like figure with everything you may well of experienced as a child staying with an Aunt or Uncle did actually prove something.
You see for that whole period it wasn’t necessary for them to bend me over getting on with at least a hand spanking because the lessons I’ve been learning since late December 2014 are sinking in with me just automatically doing the tasks I needed to without any reminders without expecting anything but everyday thanks for co-operating either. Not one jolt of bribery either. I just did them.
They knew my Moms last words before leaving were pretty much on the lines of  ‘You are to behave yourself’ which as as close to her saying in effect she expect them to crack down hard on me as in that time to she’s been getting firmer with me too.
The lesson you can draw from this is: Spanking was what I needed all along to help me grew up and mature to something closer to the level of others even if I can’t become fully adult because it got me there.

Six days with Miss

I've just returned from spending six days with friends away for which there will be a post on my main blog about cos that's really more about what we did at the big old property in East Anglia together age playing for want of a better expression.
Well that's the expression my second best friend ever calls it and she's pretty much on the ball when it comes to this stuff because at least the both of us while we're there are in our younger selves character, doing what comes naturally to us.
Since last year though I have a 'go-to' person who isn't a classic Caregiver but more an Aunt type character with some caring, mentoring sides who I spend quite a bit of time with literally under their roof.
You see for me this whole six days started off being with them where from the minute they meet me at the rail station everything changes because the relationship we have is one where they are the Adult Authority Figure who is looking after me as a child having authority over me.
They are to be addressed by me by their Title, they have quite a bit of input into how I am dressed nearly always as a child in their presence (typically school uniform) and they always have the final say with me.
As the Aunt like person they have household rules I am to go along with and am expected to do what I'm told straightaway with no backchat.
Being with them is therefore so much like the whole stopping with actual childhood Aunts and Uncles for vacations and short stays I grew up with which I loved for all that routine.
There is something else in our relationship, which is as their child I am subject to and that is when and wherever I am with them, they do discipline me on the spot often using spanking and other forms of corporal punishment as they feel fit if either say I didn't do something I  am am expected to because I'm capable of it or for being cheeky and the like.
Having been spanked by them I know it's no idol threat and as anyone whose read this blog knows it does really help as painful as it is to keep me in line apart from getting rid of past bad attitudes of which I've a good number unfortunately.
For then this thing outside of the time spent with our friends is very much time with a age-play parental situation in real time which is ideal for me as not only does it help to keep me in Middle Space as a junior it provides the structured very strict parenting I need.
A kind of alternative family.

Cute footwear

Most of the time when it comes to footwear it's a variation on Mary-Janes or maybe a  canvas plimsoll that I wear not least with poor co-ordination and balance any kind of heel is off.

I must say though these thick soled platform Hello Kitty shoes do have a irresistible cute appeal to me.

Studying in discomfort

Golly gosh so much rain this weekend that him who hacked my account on Friday been begging to stay in and use his litter tray instead!
On Saturday in English, I've been looking at the second bain of my written life the one below spelling which I'm officially lousy at and above structure, namely paragraphing.
You know I never really knew what they were for and this section left me thinking for like ages I'd thought a paragraph was the exact same thing as a sentence but seemingly they are not.
A paragraph apparently is a group of sentences talking about the same thing or follow on from each other and at least over in the UK in handwritten work you do indent the first sentence of a new paragraph whereas in typing classes I was taught not to!
The benefit of using paragraphs are that they show clearly you're writing about something new. It may be a new point in an essay, when you talk about new person or they speak if it's a story, if you're talking about a new place or a different time when people read your written work.
The section also looked  at how you link sentences together too.
I got 100% on the end test for that which included writing three paragraphs of a story to demonstrate your ability  to use them well although needless to say some of my linking words show Canadianisms.
As well, I looked at punctuation,something a person I know who helps  people stay on track but who also does private English tuition recognizes is a weakness of mine with the work covering capitalization, clauses  and phrases amongst many things.
Sunday saw the return of Math dealing with the efficient use of calculators and what the keys really do, like I didn't know what the +/- key was for(!), working out formulas which was very hard and  ordering Decimals which isn't like the Hallway Monitor bellowing at you if you're going to fast or not in line, which is something that sure happened at my school.
I got 100% in the first and last areas and just 66% with formulas but even getting that was a minor miracle compared  to how I used to be and shows just much changing how I'm treated and at the same time giving me proper support and guidance can help

I'm also working in some discomfort cos I hurt my small toe yesterday with the inward top bit nearer the foot hitting a hard plastic object as I lost my footing, getting up quicker than perhaps I should of, not really thinking. I'll spare you a picture but a small portion of is definitely bruised (it's black!!!) and while I'm a bit better today, last night I was limping on my right foot! This is not what I'm needing for later on in the week.

Pleats and me

I've always had something for pleats in my skirts, may be a lingering bit of my memories of school uniforms but generally they hang better on me, having that bit extra pouf that I like so it's hardly surprising I like to be put in them.
Today, I'm having to rest, well kinda rest anyway which wasn't really planned for and has little of itself to do with what this blog usually talks about although the weekend started off pretty well. You see yesterday was day one of Study Weekend as I was getting to grips with paragraphing and punctuation which to be honest is something I struggled with at least because I had poor idea of what were never mind how you use them in written English. 
I did pretty well on the set exercises going over what I had learnt which was very much eye opening before it was time to go from where I study to the main lounge to take a break before having an evening meal. 
That's when it happened. Now normally I gather up all my study stuff, putting it away tidily, followed by unplugging my laptop which I put on during recess to check out the news and carry that out with me. 
What happened was I skipped that last bit got up to go and got my feet stuck around the cable which would of been fine except for I went backwards catching my small right toe on a plastic MiniDisc container, at which point I emitted a loud Ow! 
The reason for the Ow was obvious. I'd clearly caught the top bit of it where it joins the rest of my feet on the plastic, being painful to touch with red marking although checking nothing felt broken. 
Afterward, I sorted out the laptop, putting it into it's case and hobbled in discomfort down the stairs and checking this morning the localized marking has gone to black from the impact, most probably through green to yellow as it subsides. 
With that later on I'll be resting it getting on with some Math work I was supposed to do anyway as it will help take my mind of it and it's not an excuse for me to not to do it. 
Apart from learning not to be so impulsive that I don't check where my feet in relation to anything else is, that's a big lesson in growing up I have to learn not least because I was responsible for what happened.

Discipline and I

The basics of me are I’m a  Middle/little who does have an other tumblr more around the sfw area of my life.
While some peoples interest and involvement around spanking is routed in the erotic and bdsm for me it’s more mundane being the emotional age discipline of an adult middle/little who has real life behavioural and attitude problems.
Let’s say, I do use bad words, am disrespectful of any kind of authority being prone to kicking off, I am dishonest when it suits me and certainly have a disobedient streak all of do go back in time. I also have difficult getting very day tasks done.
I wasn’t shown, nor really expected to ‘behave’ being ignored, why my folks would say “Jo hasn’t done this’ or 'offer to do that’ that they preferred to put it down my disabilities as if I had no ability to either control or learn what most other folks did.

That conveniently ignored the fact I was a role seeking object who needed to shown what to do and given clear consequences when I didn’t and this rumbled on until things really got messy and a caregiver entered my life who brought in teaching me appropriate behaviours, helping to with life skills and with consent, brought in corporal punishment treating me very much the way an actual middle of been. This is also reinforced by other responsible adults in my life.
So for me it’s a run on childhood discipline that a few intelligent folk did use on me (but my folks didn’t) because unpleasant consequences do and have been improving my conduct since.
That’s why I really do appreciate people supporting this not because it’s pleasant but because it is helping me make more mature decisions, thinking before acting out which many people  are pleased for me that I’m maturing.

Final January study weekend

If you looked around of Friday and nothing seemed to have changed, that's okay cos I didn't make a optional late week entry.

Anyway, this Saturday saw me working at English looking at different styles of writing, formal and informal, the sort of language, sentence structure and introductions, concluding paragraphs and the way you sign letters.
Writing I learned can be about many things thing, such as stories, essays, informing, explaining ,advising and persuading people by argument and how each has their own needs to be effective.
As well, I learned about the importance of planning what you write, setting the topic, the points or when it comes to stories, the plot, seeing it through to a conclusion that leads to the reader understanding fully what you were saying.
It's very tempting to just plow on with an idea very much as it comes to you without really making sure at the end you've fully covered everything that's relevant to it and while it's possible in the age of the text writing program to change things, it's still more time consuming to rework everything compared to just setting down and making a plan.
Structuring matters especially to ending a piece of writing, which has never been my strong point as while I did lean how to write a decent business letter at college a good number of years back, everything we did was very business orientated including how to compose telegrams.
The other area of English I did was around Reading, looking at descriptions and how authors compare and contrast characters answering questions on extracts including quoting to back up the points in my answers.
I got 100% in one test and 70% in the second, which for someone with my disabilities is pretty good going.
On Sunday because I'm better now, I had math work to get on with such as looking at using and calculating Ratios, working out Units and Money (the making sense of that I really struggle with in shops).
That sort of thing can help if you're trying to figure what's the best offer in the shops, what the total cost of things are and how much change should have cos as embarrassing as it is it's all stuff that adds to the other aspects of being out, shopping emotionally that soon takes me into very negative oppositional behaviour.
In addition I have Long Multiplication and Division to work at which I struggle with, being warned of consequences if I flat out refuse to try get to grips with them cos I'm like that at times.
I did the tests on this and I got them all right just using paw, pencil and paper.
My BFF suggested trying a Times Table cd to help me learn my Times Tables as I struggle with them so I got one, copied it and it lives on a portable player so I can both learn and keep them them fresh in my head.
Knowing my times tables helped me especially with long division  which I think was the big problem at school - taking to take me to more advanced work without really grasping the basic things - so I just dug my heels in.
Thanks to everyone not least my BFF for supporting me checking in across the two days.
Lucy, you're a star!