Trying times

 

There are days when you really feel you are "at your limit", that you cannot go continue any further without losing any and all control of your emotions whither or not that might be the seventh time you gone to do something and it hasn't worked or you've made a massive mess and now that to deal with on top of felling tired for everything else you did before.

It might be less you and perhaps someone elses attitudes and behaviours that are really taking you beyond your normal endurance ability, I mean some stresses and strains are part of everyday life rather like if you go to catch a train, you know a delay or a platform change is a perfectly possible situation.

Some people just appear to love creating dramatic scenes, raising fears and waves of impending doom demanding that you and the wider world must save them now and really nobody cares.

Emotional manipilation is common and not as some might expect, just with young children who perhaps may not of learnt better solutions and strategies.

You yourself may have issues with dealing with any and all of these situations, I know I can soon get out of bounds as lots of noise and waves of emotions just pass through me like a massive wave I can't always reliably control and I could easily act in ways whose consequences may last a long time without realizing it.

 There always are times when I need the uncomprising message of firm spanking to help me regulate my responses and to help prevent me doing anything really rash.

Situations can be crazy, other people can be a pain in the rear but in the end I need to learn to deal appropriately with it and you may need to make sure I learn a painful lesson so I I don't repeat it.

Rounding up, staying warm

 So I'm preparing a post for this blog and there are a few a few things going on like a widening of one social media account to cover a few related points in their own way that in a previous blog life there had been some posts around but because of issues with cross linking and plowing through profiles I decided it was best removed.

It has got a bit cold this week - was around one degree c yesterday morning - so thicker socks and more layers are called for although I do have warm padded jackets for outdoors and woollen hats for exploring around and about.

I did get a used speciality record that came out some thirteen years ago by Rickie Lee Jones, namely her excellent debut album of 1979 but in a 45 rpm cut super high quality form that I missed out on then with both budget constraints and a a certain scepticism that my then stereo could make all it may have to offer.

Perhaps you remember that hit, Chuck, He's In Love?

I'm delighted to get a copy from a proper record store in Cornwall that does mail order  that knows how to package things well and it sounds great with the much improved system now.

Back and going back

 

Batty bats and ghoulish things were very much out this weekend as one tried to both be good and put a bad chest behind me as I played and played with friends to two in the morning being always up for a good by the embers yarn.

Rather like last year, I did rather roll back the years when it came to presenting with pleated skirts of different lengths and more obviously girlish tops as it's more an occassion for showing that side of as much that other times I can be very Tomboyish.

Sometimes it's a good thing let both sides out and let others see the whole you before them rather like a sporty girl may attend an award in a dress.
 

And I had dollies with me too! 

 

Pre Halloween edition

For most people Halloween has been and and gone although I'll be off at the weekend so I don't think they'll be an entry here on Friday as I'm gonna be rather busy getting sorted ready for an early morning start.

There weren't so  many little people at the door on Saturday dressed up looking for candy although the weather was more reasonable than last years so I have some spare candy and I believe at least another one of us had the same experience. Around here I know the families of them well.

That kind of leads us into a kind of a theme because of one of things about about that weekend is about re-acquainted  with people you love having fun, the weekend despite some problems with pulled a  leg muscle and badly jarring my neck yesterday also was about that but in a different way as I encountered a few people I hadn't seen for a while.

 

Piano music is a favourite of mine either solo or in the form of a concerto with other instruments typically a full orchestra and Beethoven wrote a set of five such concertos for piano and orchestra which remain hugely popular even today.

This is the third in series of I have that were recorded around 1961-3 for the first time in stereo by the acclaimed pianist Wilhelm Kempff with accompaniment from the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by  Ferdinand Leitner.

The whole set came on four lps, and this like the others is an original  with the "Tulip" logo on the record label.

Given they are over sixty years old, I gave them a very thorough cleaning to remove anything that in that time had worked its way into the groove which helps as there are a good many very quiet passages that don't like any intrusions of dirt and other debris.

That's the rear and it does also show the more usual thick spine with title wasn't commonplace back then as this doesn't have nor do Decca albums of the same era although I have to say the more modern spines with titles are much easier when hunting for your recordings when in racks.

As for the playing, the orchestra is a full on with modern instruments that won't impress those who favour using replicas of eighteenth century instruments but the playing especially the piano just sweep you along in their romanticism which to me is most apt as you just focus on the playing.

It's a set that although there have been a number of great modern accounts  that may offer modern musical scholarship and digital recording you just find yourself very much coming back to.

Letting it all out

 Sometimes you do feel that you really are BatGirl, trying to sort out every thing as it happens no matter how you may be yourself while others are focused on just their own needs or support those of one often lacking a real knowledge of just what it is and the extent of what you provide.

It isn't always helped when you, yourself are undergoing periods of ill health so you struggle to get done your own things and other things on top and you feel other people who aren't actually doing anything seem to be expecting more and more.

I just try to put this kind of the stuff to the back of my mind rather than "mining" it further but it just bugs me.

Putting a full stop in it....

 It hasn't been a great couple of weeks dealing with really bad flu while trying to sort out bits around the next major get together that keep getting changed when you think you got it sorted and dealing with gaps when it suits you less when it comes to getting away for  spooky weekend in a couple of weeks time.

It can and it does drive you really cranky just ten seconds away from a stomp fuelled mouthful back which is really the point in which ideally you need someone with a no nonsense attitude to step in and cut you off midstream in an altogether memorable way.

That's really where spoanking is at with me rather than a precourser to anything kinky or sexy, just that "stop right there, Missy" moment I need.

Children's Magazines again

Although the weather has been lousy for most of the week coupled with being very ill I do get out rather than living life behind a screen, interacting with people and that means at the very least I get to go to the general store and newsagent quite a bit.

I had been looking for a while at comics and magazines aimed for children are both displayed and also the kinds of content because in the time I've been on this planet things have changed.

Most comics and magazines are still sold on a "sales or return basis, the newssagent gets a credit for any unsold copies that are gathered up and collected by the distributor but an increasing number are going for direct sales with indviduals taking out subscriptions with copies being posted out in timed intervals to you.

Inspirations for comics can come from anywhere.

This one from the mid 1940's only had a short run came from parents in the United States who felt existing comics wre too sensational, lacking any meaning content and purely escapist and so mixed more wholesome stories, comic strips in with information about what girls could get involved in and interests.

A kind of "mash up" between comic and magazine.

I really like that cover and the concept.

  A more modern co-ed version is this published by Bayard in France which mixes a short story with comics set in the past with features on science, nature and intresets in a way that is lively, leaping off the page and easy to read.

A well written comic or magazine gently pushes language development, introucing new words and concepts and this is aimed more at 8-14 which given my reading problems is about right and guarantees you do get a challenging gripping story to read given I struggle with Young Adult fiction nevermind naytrhing really intended for adults.

Musings

You'd worry had I of been a modern girl born in the 2010's surrounded by interconnectedness from dawn to dusk from my Smartwatch, Smartphone and gaming Pc when I've had my struggles with online addiction in the recent past being up to two in the morning at one stage despite being in bone years at least.

So yip, Smart isn't always so.

This is the big conundrum for those of us who do love being feminine, loving our skirts and dresses.

It's like every slight possibility of unwanted exposure from stairways so open you can see up our skirts, that moment when tired you just want to spread your legs a little and you're obliged  to keep them forced together on tightly crossed least some MAN see you (and start having thoughts as if we asked for HIS attention).

Like most I'll sit as I find it convenient at home. 

Revisiting an old book

There are things you may have and do feel like revisiting such as books you had for an awful long time and today I'm writing about one.

A good many years back was the internet was becoming more a thing and I first got online I learned from sites I visited not just a bit more about upcoming releases and some variants of Beatles albums but also of books that went more into the history the Band and their Singles and Albums together with marketing.

One name I learned about was the American Bruce Spizer who did write and I eventually got his more useful supplement to 2004's Capitol Albums Volume One box set which had more of the facts, figures and story of these albums than the official enclosed booklet.

Some years ago I bought a few in a kind of paper back form the first editions of a new series of books he wrote around specific albums and one I recently re-read was The Beatles Finally Let It Be, the title being a pun based upon just how long and how many attempts that sessions that ended up as the Let It Be album and its accompanying movie it book until they were "let be" and released.

In it for example you learn of Magic Alex who saw himself as an electronics wizard inventor who appeared to the ear of John Lennon and his plan to build for them the bestest recording studio around with 72 tracks in a world where most had only 8.

That plan effected the recording of this album they only found a 8 track system riddled with so much hum and noise it was simply not fit for purpose, a building where there was no provision for cabling from studio to control room to recording consoles and where the was so little screening of noises such as that from the boiler, it had to be turned off whenever they were recording.

He also inexplicably had eight speakers, one per track where you only needed two for stereo mixing.

Magic Alex was really way out of his depth lacking real knowledge but John believed him even though he was close enough to people who worked and even owned, as George Martin their producer did, studios and knew just what was really needed and possible.

That fascinating little story one of several showed just how gullible the four beatles, not least John were back then handing over vast sums of money to people who knew little but how to gain their money.

It was fun re-reading this volume.

The planning for CatMas has began!

It's the week after the great paws of a week so we are to a point playing catch up here after being on a day trip and then being unwell for a bit still the cat's gotta play and all that.

Despite tons of "Woe is me" talk planning for Christmas is beginning as the list is being typed out to one S. Claus late of the North Pole for various things with information where he can place the order and store it all ready as last Christmas was a bit of rush with some reluctance on the part of the Grump job.

That means find space for Mr Claus to keep it with a lock and key and checking any emails with delivery information which is as well as some has already arrived, checked and put away.

The theme if there is one will be more past centred.

You and the week

Well the tidying up this term continues in The Dorm which I hope you all appreciate while obviously we need to continue with new entries that follow that aim  which are really rooted in now.

Being away this weekend was great, managed against the odds to walk rather more taking my time at it than I had since being struck down with covid a few years ago that affected my breathing noticeably apart from brain fog and lethargy, taking in the sea air.

My world is and always has been a bit different, like how many people do you know who are legally adults that have dollies on their armchairs and teddies on benches in the front room and yesterday I spent the day in pink and white short skirt with white tights on?

Or who else would see seeing the White Rabbit  and buying coconut ice as being a highlight, just loving cute tasty candy?
 

It's not as if the other things didn't make an impact, like Miss Kitty, I found punk rock but it brought itself into that world rather than moving me along beyond it so the world in minds eye is different than my peers.

Growing Up? Well that was rather less of a space ship booster rocket take off into new unexplored space as a widening of the current space even if magazines like this would of been more what I would of wished for as much as the loss of so much of the children's comics over the last few decades is sad when fun got replaced by commercializing Tv, toy and movie ties with plastic tat.

Web events today are a thing, you buy access tickets and take part in interactive sessions even if real life conventions still exist although sadly I missed this one some nine years ago

The new term clean up

After last weeks entry, an entry of a different sort this week as many schools return, set for Autumn give or take the odd designated training day many of us don't recall before much of the bureaucracy in modern teaching started.

This blog does go back a very good while and has been a bit all over the place with presentation, content, the odd issue with blogger and so on not being helped with me being seriously ill at times and unwell at others.

Part of which has been it hasn't been always clear what exactly it has been about sometimes going down one rabbit hole for quite a period and then changing so for this term we are having a fairly comprehensive tidying up session.

Some posts are being expanded a little to add missing detail, some that are effectively just repeat posts within roughly the same period removed and replaced by posts from that period that cover other things connected to adult little girl and adult school girl life.

The difference between this and the main Littles blog was really that this was supposed to be the blog that looked more into how I was feeling, my thoughts around this life, meeting the challenges of it not least my emotional and behavioural issues and meeting them to help me move on.

Over the years like many sites Blogger has added whole new paragraphs and sections around what it considers acceptable posts - for instance on post from 2009 that had a return like to a quiz was unpublished and then restored a day later because they saw it as "spam" only a few days ago after over a decade of being published - so not everything might necessarily fit in which instance does it need to be around?

So while what it is about hasn't changed some posts have and the other thing is images have changed as some lacked them, others were of poor quality and the odd one *may* had come close to new guidelines restrictions so using a substitute that matched the topic but less problematic have been considered and done.

I *may* look at the standalone pages at some point to see if the can be made less wordy and review any images

Basically the blog remains the same although it more fully meets the original intended focus - me, my issues and how they are being dealt with - although while covering spanking is not by design a spanking centred blog.

Easter Monday Edition

It was August Bank Holiday as I write this so this edition is going to be about a number of things that kind of connect.

The first thing is I am continuing with my study which isn't by any means easy having just done a English practice exercise based on an extract from "The Sea Raiders" by H G Wells who I suspect writes above my innate comprehension level. The fact this is supposed to be set for 11 to 14 year olds may give you an insight into just how real my problems actually are and why it's progress that I'm sat at  desk in uniform doing this not throwing it back at you!

I've got a whole Math unit revision  to complete too based on all the work I've done so far this year before moving on Shapes which just to ensure I have a hope in heck of having gotten the foundations to get right.

The other thing is although we don't talk about as much as at one time we did when things really started coming to a head the reintroduction of traditional corporal punishment has made a very real difference to my attitudes and behaviour over the years ass I have built up a powerful connection between cause and effect, with "zolts" going i my mind as to what happens BEFORE I get into that oppositional habit so I THINK before I ACT.

Things today while not perfect do run better for all that so I'm grateful for it and indeed to mark sure I start this term with a much better attitude I have been given a reminder caning on the bare with obvious weals that hurt to remind me.

 

The one thing we know from nine and a half years ago is it really works on me.

Getting better lessons

Today's entry is a bit more reflective after recent events and with my feeling a bit off this morning my mind does turn to other things.

Despite some of my challenges and as this blog does show some of my less social  turns  that require a good spanking, I do oddly enough want to be a good girl, be more use to people and generally make a difference in peoples lives.

Trying and I can be, to follow more of the ethos of things like GirlGuiding, revisit more of  the lessons I really should of learned around that time and make some clear changes is more where I am at presently cos really the only thing that needs to change is me.

I have this big soft doll to cuddle up and hug that should help remind me of what the best me looks like and get more into line.

Going backwards to go forward really is more what's needed for more to move on.

As you know I do study and that studying involves Math so I need a basic Geometry set and this the one I currently have that comes in a slip case.

 On the reverse of the slipcase there is a an illustration of what is included  in the set.

 When you get to pull it out of the slip case  you have an aluminum  tin that keeps it all together in a simple, traditional way that also is very elegant.

 When you pull it open, in the lid you have a school timetable you can personalize while on the reverse it has information on weights and measures and this is wrapped around a stencilling kit.

As you can see we have the time honoured, rule set square and protractor couples with a compass, pencil, erasure and pencil sharpener that all fits neatly.

Personally I think this is a great basic set you can add too later on.

 

Because I do quite a bit of colouring too I did pick up this Staedtler heavy duty two slot pencil sharpener as I find myself needing to resharpen them to help keep my colouring neat.

 

Again learning to aside other thoughts and relearn being content to colour, use your imagination and be a good deal less reactive stomping is more the thing and colouring does help keep me feeling calm and in control of my at times wayward emotions.

A somethings extra post

After last week's entry I've been sorting a few things out for a charity collection and generally making space for CatMas in late december as one present has already arrived, boxed up and sorted the shelves out a little.

Waves. That sounds rather like me, things just coming over, focusing just on that and sometimes then moving on to something else as you then start thinking "Did I really want this?".

Dolls were a bit of up and down thing with being rather late in getting any having never been bought one and most I had tended to be the porcelain sort with posable bodies in various usually vintage costumes rather than dollies to play with.
 

So I'd get the odd one or two and then "The Imposter" would start in my head saying "You really shouldn't be feeling this way, wanting to play. Just what would people think???"

Before you know it you're almost convinced to give it all up and hand them on which certainly would be better than just binning them.

This is a recent one, a 1978 seven inch Brownies doll in the then current uniform which these days isn't strictly uniform a mix and match from our lists thing so no one six looks the same unlike then.

 

 

Then there's the more role model sort such as this original British Airways Stewardess one from the days countries had "National Carriers" which was presented to staff and can we keep our -ess's please.

 

We're not men thank god and there's nothing demeaning about having a female title, actresses are not just "eye candy"  but highly accomplished performers and Stewardess's perform and important role where knowledge, tact and common sense make a huge difference to air travel.

Reflections on the week

 Well we are back although the journey certainly tried my patience with diversion, road closure and resurfacing signs coupled with incidents doubling the time it took to get home from littles camp.

It's a sign that this thing has actually worked that I was able to zone out, letting it pass over me without going into a meltdown or swearing quite badly, keeping calm even when the car driver was starting to get quite agitated.

The other thing was I was able find a way though the politics of presentation as one or two have some rather trenchant ideas about how littles should dress and unlike them I accept the changes today have a good number of things that are better when it comes to gender roles and how we dress.

So I found ways of being more "girlie" when I felt like it that weren't so stereotypical and stood my ground where an activity simply wasn't going to work for me in a respectful way, doing all I could to help out.

That again used to be a bit problematic mainly because few said exactly what and when they really needed a hand and I'm used to more direct "I could use some help" statements rather than mind reading, bobbing up all the time with offers that would be met by counter offers.

I'd say I did good this time.

A message coming in spare moment

 

Golly, a week away with the girls where playing a street tough you do to deal with males can just drop so we get to be as cutesy as we feel on the inside with our plushies, pretty bows and pretty shorter skirts and dresses on.

You get the opportunity talk about and even release feelings and emotions that are in you without anyone thinking you're so weak and vulnerable they'd take advantage.

You get back to doing what you're best at, playing, baking things for fun, running around playing sports, being in the moment.

I don't do social media and that while away cos I'm just being little me, sometimes silly, sometimes needing sharp reminder about what I'm doing but it's okay.

It's really about honouring and respecting your inner little self.

Do we really belong here?

There will be a pause next week I think simply for being away and so not with chromebook and you really cannot type up droves of posts for blogs to cover that period while getting ready to go away with all the packing and the regular weekly activities and that.

There is one topic I keep coming back to which is around age identity and from that what really is appropriate because if you are very much a person to whom sexually or other kink based interests apply (like bdsm) then it's quite straightforward.

You may role play an age in a context, say DD/lg reflecting a point that for you you wish to return to in the context of that and any relationships but you still ultimately see yourself as, and identify with, your age as recorded on your birth certificate.

You are also quite likely to have the adult adeptness to handle adult content sites connected with that.

And that is okay.

I seldom if ever feel adult, although I know the law says I own consequences for actions I commit as one and never identify as an adult (I could have written this in my teen easily).

I struggle with tasks that require adult levels of comprehension and seeing what is coming next so does it make sense at all for me to have a presence on any adult site that has lead to issues around bullying, presumed overt sexual interests and what not?

In the ideal world, I will be blunt and say, No.

The problem comes for me in that a small portion of me, a portion that in childhood featured the threat and delivery of spankings that still runs through that perception of how I see me is a topic that (understandably)

today cannot be mentioned in child safe places (heck references to it often get removed in republished children's literature).

That only leaves adult sites as places I can talk about and with people and then sometimes they won't allow you to reference any however briefly that occurred as a child at that time and we'd all agree mentioning that of actual children in the modern world isn't right (and attracts bad sorts).

And those places are the ones I struggle with, cos beyond this one subject, I really don't belong in scenes that going by any assessment of my emotional intelligence would show I'm too young for.

I'm just wondering if really leaving such spots for good might not be the most sensible thing for someone like myself.

Adding to disciplining a Middle

Discipline is not a cut to the chase, apply implement to  the middle in question affair, it involves things like scolding, helping the middle process why it’s happening and can use non cp techniques to deepen the experience to help us learn from it. It’s why you do it to us.

Making you feel shamed is an useful part of discipline for a  Middle  and need not involve nudity such as making you stand facing forwards with you knickers  down to your knees which is like super embarrassing if people may see you and uncomfortable enough if they can’t.

It's worth while trying more of that with me.

Caught in the act!

While the rest of the planet is into post election stuff, scumbag Putin's latest attempt win the Global Most Barbarous Act 2024 Award and a certain football competition in Germany, I'm getting more personal here.

Changed times mean changed realities and the attempt to keep up with the daily drama and given you're the only one left on the spot to deal with it all all to often leads to a situation you just feel merged into that person.

 It just goes around and around and that's before they gaslight you for being as white as a sheet with chest pains, severe pain at the top of left arm, blacking out and dizziness accusing you of trying to make them feel guilty as if you'd seriously put something on that ideally you need to be getting immediate assistance with?

It's certainly not that you have, I have, any issue with caring but it seems very much a onesided show.

Moving on

 

Hi Hi folks, here we go with another entry after last week's offering and its comments so thank you very much for that because we are working towards a wider range when comes to topics that I post about on here.

That's around the many changes that have occurred in my life over the years, changes in the extent to which some things that interested me the have changed and the belief that working through my emotions journalling  makes more sense.

Ducks and Swans have been a favourite thing of mine to just sit out and watch, be they in a parkside lake or like in this picture I took recently, swimming on our local canal.

  Generally I tend to favour using a telezoom because you can move from something like a duck or swan  capturing it and its reflection to more of a portrait at the twist of the zoom range rather than having to change from a 90mm to 210mm fixed length lens.

We have yet more to say

Hello there peoples we'd like to say a few things this today after making our appearance several years ago when things were different.

 Maisie talking here about the strange creature that lives here too called The Grump.

The grump has that name as it walks about with a loud thud, thud, thud  along the carpets and up the stairs at all hours of the day with really bizarre stories of dreamscapes or tales og things that woked him up.

Trouble is that wakes up everybody else.

Millie Bear here, He also has these odd ideas like he's dead untidy, never cleaning as he does things leaving bits of food here, bits of furry stuff there, testing strips and humongous piles of assorted letters and magazines complaining about giving the house a quick clean every week or possibly once.

It mutters if the slightest comic of owner is left out and yet she spends her time literally on her knees scrubbing the carpet, struggling to get back up removing mud and other thigs he's trod into the carpet

I know she saw this as drawn by TheLatestKate on Tumblr the other day and really that's the thing she know expected to do like don't  give up, don't think cos she struggles with her difficulties she can't try to do thing, putting up  with that Grump figure and just give things the best shot she can.
Do try to help her.

Regards Simba, Maisie and Millie

Spanking therapy?

Been a bit of a busy weekend with Father's Day and what have you and so between the showers outside thoughts drifted to that thing which happens, the sometimes conflicted feelings and just what it is you get out of it beyond reinforcing a rule or lesson.

 

 

 

That was an interesting piece of research as I had noticed personally that there had been times where I felt much better in myself after a spanking whatever may of brought it on and any other part of a corrective process such as putting a situation right.

Obviously consideration has to be taken to ensuring any marks and that do heal up properly to avoid any injuries but it does make me wonder wither or not just being given a spanking if say I'm down in the dumps might not be a bad idea.

 

 Now that kind of order may just make this a "good spanking".

Any thoughts?