My bedroom is a disgrace

This is one I can so relate to because it is about something that is a real issue with me.
To be both truthful and very blunt, my bedroom is a disgrace with tons of stuff just squirreled away any old how in piles so I have dig well down it to find anything such as cds, books or even clothes that sometimes I even forget what I have and end up buying twice cos I 'lost' them and then they come to life.
It's not that I am incapable of tidying up although I'm low on absolute energy, it's more that I am lazy and lack any sense of pride.
I really could use a hard spanking to help me change my attitude toward this.

Christmas 2012

If you have just come to this site you probably did not expect me to publish a Christmas edition as I had said elsewhere I wasn't doing one before Christmas as I was going to be very busy organizing stuff for other peoples Christmas's, visiting and the like.

You might be thinking what is a Joanne Christmas like?

A Joanne Christmas is unapologetically a little affair, simple, very childlike wrapped around some groan up parts such as being with relatives so while they may do sophisticated things and talk about groan up stuff, I don't cos I'm the child.

I woke up, got dressed and spend most of the morning  in full uniform and I see I wasn't the only one in our community that spent at least some of our time like that today.

We went out for Christmas lunch where apart from having some lovely well cooked food, I played a small springy man with a sucker that holds it down for a minute before it goes pop and jumps up in the air landing all over the place. I had loads of fun doing that and Mommy was okay with it too. Having a Mommy that'll let you do this in public is so awesome.

Below is my present pile with an unexpected present on the top.

Hmm I wonder what it might be cos it came from a borderline lg colleague of mine who really knows what makes me happy.

Oh look, she bought me a Hello Kitty selection box with chocolate and other candy in it because when she saw it, it reminded her of me. It was so sweet of her as knows all about my little side.

I had some money cos really most groan stuff doesn't really do anything for me at all so I bought this years super annuals by Jacqueline Wilson who writes lovely children's books and yes a Hello Kitty annual with games,activities and other really fun things to do in them like colouring.

 As well I had this the 75th Anniversary annual of the British Comic the Beano with special stories, jokes and other things in them that make me happy.

In a Joanne Christmas, new childrens books feature as I love reading about people and their adventures so there's Emerald Star, a follow up to Hetty Feather and Four Children and It by Jacqueline Wilson in their hardback editions.
Mommy bought me some pastel pink super soft slippers that's she's happy for me to wear around her, a pair of soft snuggle socks and Scottish shortbread. I had a tin of chocolates to share cos well sharing is a 'very good thing tm' although Ill have to change some gloves as my hands are small, the fingers are smaller than Mommy's even and these are way too big.
I have record coming just after Christmas too as it was in the Christmas Eve sale too.
Now the funny thing is people this is so similar to the Christmas's of of the past and you know what? It just feels so right.

Christmas edition

Seeing we're approaching that time of the year, here's my Christmas post.

It's so apt in lots of ways cos I've struggled and struggled trying to stay on track, not winding people up, trying not to be wound up myself even and failed so that would be my present all right. And I'd take it.

Ho ho ho!

This time of year brings back memories for me, some painful bordering on the harrowing (I have been know to go AWL from sites around this time of year) and others a lot more enjoyable. I suspect for a number of you it may be similar in which instance you have my understanding.
But as ever I'd not of posted an image here without their being some deep meaning to it and it's that one of the loveliest warm fuzzy feelings I remember is being sat on Santa's knee talking to him about how the year had been and what I'd really love for Christmas.
That's a very special feeling every child should experience as part of the magic of childhood and as we have increasing less days toward that Big Day we shouldn't lose sight of and why we 'do' the social Christmas with our families.
It's not about the money we spend, it's about sharing our love with one another, making each other feel special, loved and above all wanted.

Some Uniform thoughts

Some of  my ideas that go through my mind when it comes to uniform tend to be coloured more by my recollections of high school but in truth I'm more Junior, the kind of girl that English terms depending  on exactly where her birthdate  fell, would still be in Year Six or to moved to the First Form (Year 7) of High School

This is more the summer version  of it with a traditional blue Gingham school dress with maybe White socks with the other bits and bobs like shoes which are simple but stylish.

Find-outers

Hallo there.
I've a bit of blocked up nose today so I'm doing some schoolwork complete in my full uniform today apart from some reading too.
That takes me to today's subject.
There are many types of stories written such as those centred on fantasy, romances, animals, adventures and so on but one genre I struggle with is the Detective Story usually because it requires  you use more short term memory while reading to piece together from the clues you're told, who really did it.
Unfortunately for someone like me reading something like that is like trying to run complex games on old computer with a slow processor and very little RAM (it might load up but attempting play is sluggish and may even stall!).
Fortunately I found a detective  mystery  series by Enid Blyton that were written for children from around nine years upward that I can follow reasonably well.

This series goes under the name the 'Find-outers' after the title the children who form a detective club called themselves dedicating themselves to solving mysteries and outwitting the local Police Constable, Mr. Goon who they christen 'Clear-orf' after what he shouts at them accusing them of meddling and otherwise interfering in the LAW.
The leader of the club is Frederick Algernon Trotteville  who is a boastful as well as cheeky outsider to the others in the village of Peterswood but is actually quite bright being good at languages and art at his boarding school. Because of his build he's called Fatty although he is quite physically fit playing school sports.
His deputy is Larry who is really called Laurence and they are joined by Daisy (his sister), Pip alias Peter, and Bets (Elizabeth) who is just 9 and the youngest of the group.
Fatty has a dog called Buster who obeys Fatty's commands well.
Upon being formed they call themselves "Five find-outers and Dog".
Mr Goon is probably the most incompetent policeman ever to taken on investigating mysteries in their area and the children in the first story, "the Mystery of the Burnt Cottage", strike up a very good relationship with the Inspector of Goon's force much to the displeasure of Pc Goon, especially when the inspector realizes just how good the Find-outers really are solving the mystery Goon failed to do!
There are in total 15 stories in the series which were all  issued by Dean's in the Rewards series in 1990 with reprints from that edition keeping the typeset narrative intact through most of the 90's whereas current editions like most of Enid's output have been revised and rendered 'politically correct'.
Thankfully it's easy to find these editions but Deans also did something else, as with the Schools series Enid wrote, they did two omibus editions each having three stories from the first six published and the top one issued in 1992  is mine (it's a 1994 reprint).

This one (the second in the set) has 'Spiteful letters', 'Missing Necklace' and 'Hidden House' in it and was published in 1994 although my copy is the 1998 reprint and both keep original illustrations and text in them, making a great starter set you can get cheaply used.
I'm really enjoying reading this series, more than I thought I'd of been able to howling at how Fatty and the gang put Clear-orf off the scent as Fatty's boisterous wit as well as his genius with disguises.
They also are a period reminder of how life was in sleepy English villages back then before policing moved mainly to the town and your only contact with the police was in their distinctive 'Panda car' they came out to visit your patch in where at the time this was written your Policeman lived in a Policehouse in your village and he patrolled it.
So far I've picked Mystery of the Pantomime Cat, Mystery of the Invisible Thief and Mystery of the Banshee Towers to go with the omnibus editions.

Putting the play in ageplay

If you were to ask me what age-play means somewhere in it would be regressive play, that's to say play that is more child-like, you you undertake with others ideally letting out your inner kid as you relate to each other as that child.
It may involve a game and it might be that we play with a more girlish trainset, making the track up, deciding where we'd bridges and houses before taking turns sending the train around the track for hours.
Sometimes I think it's very easy to get to a situation where we may perhaps be dressed as littles or for me a Junior Middle juts doing grown up things like talking politics which we'd never had done as children.
I'm loath to say what the experience include but to me it should leave you feeling you're in little headspace, being a child.

It's a wrap!

Well, the first week of new improved life went pretty well from the ability just to do a bit a work and keep up with the lives of my work colleagues now the crazy world of paid work is over. I had a blast talking with and helping our clients out as I've so much more control over how much I take on.
I was able to spend some more time dealing with sorting out presents for people although as some of you will recall from last year with the current financial situation effecting us all, I have again parred down how much I'm spending as have those who'd usually treat me. I do sometimes wonder if we'd be better of giving more of ourselves all year round instead.
Arrangements have been made to get me to and help me throughout this years works Christmas lunch which usually involve a quiz and various presentations outside of the formal meal.
I also did some more reading last week and will be taking part in this years Winter readathon where we read a set book and discuss together which should be fun as we're tackling the first Secret Seven novel!
I've wrapped up all ready my stuff cos as I think we all know sometimes it can be hard to get folk to get you what it is you really would like for Christmas with people feeling a bit awkward and that, so to avoid that foot stamping angry protest from the Little Girl within, she's been the money to get what she would prefer with the help of her bigger side.
That makes a lot of sense really as Christmas is really important for children.

Intimate regression II

School knickers should be modest, single colour and fit snugly  which was the reason before the "My right to wear what knickers I want" argument started, your school told you which and in what colour they were meant to.
Now there's concern that some girls knickers don't fit properly around the gusset, are too revealing and Moms are saying may need Lycra overshorts for PE to keep girls modest.
If only 'My rights' would of listened to why my generation had it different this would never of happened.
***Rant***

Reading and more on change of circumstances

Well the start of the week is among us and as you've no doubt read this week will like all my weeks from here on in will be different meaning I'll have to fill the extra time I have to be my little self up by myself which should prove most interesting.
Tomorrow, I'll be working for a few hours across the morning at my own pace talking with people and from that helping them out for the people I was employed by because it's a skill my health situation aside I'm actually rather good at.
I liked the people we get for the most part (you'll always get the odd one that's a bit awkward), finding our conversations rewarding apart from learning about other peoples circumstances. Anyway my leaving employment isn't and really shouldn't be seen by anyone as just more time for to be online for hours at a time just because someone may like a bit of company although it'll enable me to visit a few sites more often where I can have fun people who know me there and I love their company a lot. Their support during this period means a lot to me, personally.

One thing I will probably be doing more of is reading which for all my difficulties with it, is something I'm really enjoying right now and one site has an upcoming readathon I'll be able to take part in, sharing observations around the story as we all read together.

This week I've been reading the Faraway Tree series by Enid Blyton which is about a group of children - Jo, Bessie and Fanny - who having moved to the Country, encounter a  most odd wood at the end of their garden - The Enchanted Wood where pixies, fairies and others live. Growing in this wood is the Fareway Tree which initially the children climb that leads to the top where you can enter lands, lands that change regularly where many an adventure is had often featuring Moon-Face who has a face just like the moon and Silkie who has hair just like silk.

Some of the lands are really magical like Nursery Rhyme Land or the Land of Presents, cautionary such as the Land of Do-as-you-please or a bit nasty like the Land of Tempers. Well, would you liked to be surrounded by people always in a bad temper?
My copies of The Fareaway Tree and the Folk of  the Faraway tree are copies I had from my chronological childhood being printed around 1971 and1972 but the first book of the series the Enchanted Wood is a newer copy from 1987, all just being decimalized but otherwise keeping the same text as earlier editions which isn't the case with the current ones with name changes for the three children, gollywogs being removed and any mentioning in passing of slaps or spanking as punishment removed.

Related to that and again from my original copies from the early 1970's I read Wishing Tree series (in the original series there but two books) which are fun to read. The plot is essentially that of two children, Peter and Molly who go to an antique shop to by their mother a present and come back with a chair that, when wishes are made has the magical ability to fly. They discover and make friends with a pixie called Chinky and have adventures flying in the Wishing Chair meeting also sorts of amazing and sometimes slightly scary characters.
As with Fareway Tree, these two books (Adventures of the Wishing Chair and the Wishing Chair Again) have been extensively 'revised' in their current editions to remove all the stuff so-called 'Politically Correct' people have issues with even mentioning.
Thankfully for those without copies, the Deans hardback Rewards series are easy to find used in at least acceptable condition being in print until at least 1990 where the heavy revisions came in.
Malory Towers revisited:
I got used the unbutchered text editions in the form of a W H Smith hardback Omibus edition of the first four novels and the separate Deans hardbook Rewards series ones from 1990 of the last two.
There are entire paragraphs missing from the current ones and the 'PC' alterations do effect the characters responses to some important storylines in the books. Rereading them, it all makes more sense.

Intimate regression

 I'd never really given any consideration at all to the whole notion of wearing traditional school girls knickers as part of my slide into being an adult regressing just thinking that anything not obviously adult and 'knowing' would work.
I should say I spend a lot of time in school girl uniforms over the course of a week but for a long period I'd been pondering this but when I think back to it, it's that I knew what girls wore under their pinifore dresses and skirts from both things like family (you'd just see the washing about) and from what you heard (I wasn't cheeky and tried to look being well brought up!).
I felt so strongly I wanted to be wearing what they did back then in that whole regressive context that I researched a bit a round the topic and found that Bottle Green was just so that experience. I had to give it a go.

I binned the older stuff, forcing myself to order new bottle green knickers of the old school variety with elasticed legs and double gussets, a mixture of cherubs and academy brands ready for that first morning when I'd have to put them on. The cotton is so comfortable and yet also keeps you warm in cold weather such as that we're having right now.
Instinctively I felt smaller as I pulled them up noticing how they enveloped me which after an hour or so I got so used to I forgot I'd had them on as they felt so right under my skirt leaving me feeling just the happy go lucky school girl I am on the inside.

I'm bored?

I'm bored is the usual cry you hear from children but what is boredom?
One way of looking at is spare time to which you haven't found something that holds your interest to do.

That can be for a variety of reasons such as limited imagination - you fail to visualize something you could do - that may involve others or where say the adventures maybe in a book or tv show are such that they'd take a hold in your so that for you at that point they taken on real emotions.

That was one reason I liked to hear stories read at school with all that vocalization.

Another reason for some is sadly they fail to see others in that they can't relate to them in social settings so working on some joint activity just doesn't happen.

They either do everything by themselves or failing that just sit doing nothing waiting for something to happen where just maybe someone might invite them.

Certain times of the year sometimes have a saddening affect and for sure the onset of the Winter is one when it's cold to play, natural daylight is limited and ice sometimes cause the groan ups to call off going round to your friends.

I've always liked doing things with others and boarding school was really good cos well we all were still at school after lessons to do stuff before evening meals and lights out.

If you changed the jersey of the girl on the right of the picture to red, that was very much a Joanne style of play running around the playground!!!!

Out of school attire for me

 

If there is a point regarding my presentation between Junior and being more mid teen or older, then in so many ways this is it, not being so far removed from some of things I was experimenting with two years ago.
The knitted top is very much me as I like knitwear that has patterns by they plaid like this one or say more motif ones like Liquorice Allsorts that were popular a few years back that you might wear with say crop top or something underneath rather than to display a blouse.
Red is a perfect match for my complexion.
The skirt is right too being more a pleated skater style simulated leather one which has enough of the younger kittenish bits in for me.
It's not school girl but it can be out of school time attire for me.

A word from the Big Girl to the one within

A recent dialogue between my adult (BG) and Little (LG) sides

BG: Hello there my friend
LG: Oh Hi. How are you you today?
BG: Oh I'm okay, just keeping an eye out for you  now. And you?
LG: I'm good. Actually I haven't felt better for many a year since I've been allowed out earlier in the year thank you
BG: That's good. I was worried about how you'd cope after all that time cooped up but you surprised me.
LG: I did??? You trusts me now?
BG: Hey, little girl I trust you. You've got brains and spirit it's just you had taken that long rest and I thought you'd be out of practise that's all.
LG: I think I learn a few things from you.
BG: Aww that's really sweet of you. Have you done anything different recently?
LG: I've been reading story books a lot. You learn heaps from books.
BG: That's true. I hear some of these books are similar to those I remember.
LG: I think so. I liked the school stories by Enid Blyton a lot and that Storytime book with the picture of the girl with a candy-striped dress walking her dog plus a boy on the cover.
BG: That's not so surprising is it as you're a schoolgirl after all and they're about your World.
Tell me who leads in that picture on the front of the other book?
LG: The boy with his book. I like that.
BG: That's interesting. You are his equal but you know what? Boys can use their extra strength to keep girls like you safe. If he were real would you like that?
LG: Yes I would.
BG: Good girl. Boys, unlike what your unkind sisters say can be kind, gentle people who'll look after you. It's called chivalry.
LG: I see.
BG: Have I told you I like how you look in your uniform?
LG: No.
BG: Then I will say it suits you perfectly, especially as I know you're 'all regulation' now and I also like your play clothes. You deserve a MERIT badge for how you've handled being out.

LG: Thank you ( * Hugs BG)
BG: It's good for you not to have to think too much about what to wear so you can just learn and go out and play without worrying about tearing dresses.
LG: I play now.
BG: I know and I want you to play as much as you can even if you get a bit dirty cos play is important for you. I think it helped you a lot this year.
LG: Aww after letting me play you wants me to do it more.
BG: That's right little girl. Thanks for talking with me and remember you're out now for good. Bye bye.

Cute underwear

Although you'd never of sneaked this past the school rules inspections we had way back then, these Hello Kitty knickers are awfully cute and would been on my wish list at the time and just are my kind of thing even now.

Children of Cherry Tree Farm

I grew up in the countryside in a small hamlet with just one store and public house that we spent summers outside drinking lemonade in when we weren't playing out  so it isn't that surprising I love stories about the kinds of communities I lived in.
Enid Blyton wrote three super books that deal with this topic that I adore.
We start with four children Rory (13), Sheila, Benjy and Penny - that's the youngest at 7 - who lived in London are sent to their Aunt Bess and Uncle Tim's farm, Cherry Tree Farm,as they were poorly to recuperate while their folks were on business in America.
It's an old country farm with thatched roofs and little mechanization.

They learn about country life and lore encountering Tammylan a person who understands about looking after animals and explains the them all about different species and their role in the countryside. For the period this novel is set in Tammylan has enlightened views about the importance of the environment. The fresh air soon helps the children recover and also ignites their imaginations.
They learn about how farming families pull together and have a pleasant surprise as their folks upon returning decided too forgo their city life to return to farming.
The Children of Willow Farm and More adventures on Willow Farm are the stories of bringing a farm back to life, establishing new crops together with livestock as it is a mixed farm and the trails and tribulations of running the farm that the children increasingly learn to do for themselves.
The children learn about being responsible, working as a team and dealing with disappointments.
What I love about these books isn't just the story about the children it's how carefully information about wildlife and farming practise is slipped into the book so you learn about the basics of agriculture and making things like milk, cheese and cream!

Are there advantages of being ALG?

After our last Teen Beat special, I wish to return to an interesting topic  around those of us  who are Adult Little Girls and in particular those who take part in forum discussions and the like.

I haven’t really addressed this before but one thing that struck me about our groups especially at GT, is what an array of talents we happen to have in our midst, from artists, seamstresses, writers of fiction, people who in are Engineering, the Sciences and so on.

One does wonder about how much society actually gains from people like us who use childlike, non-linear thinking as well as problem solving to come up with solutions over our more regular colleagues and friends.

It wasn’t me but someone known well to this blog who remarked that thinking about the hundreds of people they’ve worked with and groups and forums they themselves have interacted with finds this group (at GT) having an unusually high percentage of   greater intelligence, wit, imagination, creativity compared with others.

Put like that, personally having been in a number of forums including TG ones and worked with a number of people in different fields, that’s how it comes over to me too.

I do wonder if  being inclined to think outside of adult boundaries and the social need self-censoring ones thoughts,  because we are childlike so never stopped doing so, you remain more open to possibilities exploring them?

Maybe this might answer the question “Do we have a role to play in society?”

Snuggles

Snuggling up to a giant bear is something that is so me.

Happy Halloween

Yes's it's that day in the year where the ghouls all come out and I stock up on candy to dole out.
Happy Halloween people!

Some of us can't get enough Fairy Tail!

Sorting me out

 

I don't like tattoos much but this is so much not just the kind of bedroom I just love with it's children's furniture, care bear plushies and posters but also of being in a very young girl gingham dress, braided and bowed as an adult little.

I was never really intended to be a grown up.

Guilty secrets.

We might begin by saying according to Google, I have now 14 followers of this blog and it is going to circulated a bit more widely with a short introductory message.
For most of this week I've been reading a mixture of Enid Blyton's Secrets series with the first two stories in their 1960's paperback editions as modern editions haven't so much edited as partially re-written the first chapters that are essential to understand why 4 children would runway in this period from their guardians.

Guilty secret time:

Okay, the eagle eyed will spot a modern no-no on the front cover of this, one of the original three story collections in the Amelia Jane stories.
Amelia is a home made ragdoll who lives in the toybox with the other twos of the children who own them with a teddy bear, sailor boy, wooden mouse and a clown as well as a 'golly' a black faced doll if you grew up in the 70's or before you may well have had in your toybox.
I have fond memories of my toy box I can assure you with dolls teddy bears and even a golly (eek).
Amelia being home made hasn't been what we'd call socialized and so is gets very bored doing incredibly naughty damaging things, playing with matches, being very rude and spiteful, just like many young children, something that no doubt makes it very easy to identify with.In some respects it's almost a moral tract showing action and consequence through the adult narration.
The other toys do with the help of the brownies (another no-no in modern editions) restore order. Amelia has to stand in the corner  and is smacked, just rather like I was at that age for doing pretty much the same things cos like any kid I was capable of 'naughty'.
'Golly' is a no-no too but anyone who has read these stories know he's a really sweet but strong character who will stand up for himself and isn't afraid to take the lead on bring Amelia back under control.
I guess the 'Golly' problem lies with parts of his depiction having prominent eyes and red lips being too close for some to 'blacked up' white actors who some see as promoting a negative stereotype of black people although Enid Blyton sure doesn't in her stories and in the UK at least 'Golly' or 'Gollywogg' was never frequently used as a racial insult.
Given I at least have been called a 'muppet several times before now and no one has insisted on removing that word from public tv and literature, shouldn't we judge a book by it's content and only take offence when a character is being portrayed in an offensive way?

On taking steps back

Everything around this blog is a bit like an umbrella in some ways because what it is  I get from and am looking from from this whole being like a child who I am thing is a sense of place that makes sense for me.
Sense from the point of I am treated and engaged with at a level that I am capable of understanding both intellectually and emotionally because people have tried, sometimes pushed by so-called experts to take me further but that only created problems around coping with the expectations that go with them.
I had to be sheltered from a lot of things even in my later years at high school and my experiences since, not least the breakdown that happened a few years back underscored the problem because as hard as I tried to make sense of these expectations in reality I couldn't meet them. I only acted as if I had a understanding - and a shallow one at that - of them to try to fit in where really I wasn't and could not.
I need to take two steps back and be treated more as I actually am to take the step forward to do what I can the best I can.

Schoolgirl roleplaying

I'm currently engaged in a online School Roleplaying game where I play as myself in a class that has set work to produce from internet based resources and there in game and out of game rules.
It also has rules about when work should be handed in and a written punishments system outside of any verbal chastisement so as far as it is possible it has much of the emotional and psychological feel of being in school, having to work and being judged up on that so to that extent I may experience unpleasant emotions in much the same way as I did in real in real school.
I've consented to this within the game because I feel the setting of tasks and the certainty of some written punishment such as lines to complete my help train me to be more focused and that I am under disciplined which as I've talked about here was and is causing problems in my life.

I want to see the lights

Well I'll start this blog entry with a thanks to Pink and Frilly for following this blog.

Okay guess where in the UK this might be seen? You see I went off on another little adventure to a place you might have childhood memories of  and is surrounded by fun things you might want to do.This place has trams a plenty running up and down some like these are modern ones but at weekends and high season the old types are run.

Okay that place is Blackpool, Lancashire, Northwestern England, a place that is  unapologetically loud and I travelled on as coach using the Motorway network although we as a bit naughty and used the slip road but a few miles from my main road to join it! Being very near the entry point to one of the principal motorways has its advantages.
Like a number of UK resorts it's has a pier that jets out into the sea with various attractions including amusement arcades on them. This one had a Victorian Photography booth where you can wear and be photographed in period attire.

 You can see just how far out it goes! It's as well there were things undercover as it rained hard for a period in the afternoon. I went to Harry Ramsden's for lunch where the service was exemplary and the Plaice lovely and moist.

One prominent landmark is the Big Wheel although going on that is out of bounds for me as I'd lose my head if I went on on it.

That's the big Tower which is being restored near the SeaLife Centre, Dungeons  and the waxworks museum. I spent quite a bit of time in Toymaster looking at the dolls, colouring books, sylvarian families toys and that. I'm sure the assistant clocked me!
In the foreground is one of the illuminations that was one of the main reason for going as these lights have partially renewed allowing for more fantastic effects. There were fairies, teddybears, diamonds and at a Quarter past six, we assembled to go through them all illuminated at Seven PM. It was beautiful.
By Eight-thirty, I was back home for a light snack before putting my jim jams on  as this little girl was dead tired and needed her sleep.

Outing day post

It’s kind of funny how some sites leave you feeling, some more informed others are a bit more sneaky in that you end up owning up to likes nay even fetishes you ordinarily wouldn’t of even considered. It may even by that’s part of their purpose, to get you leaving something permanent behind, you know  a trap, and if that’s true it’s rabbit cave I’ve fell onto all right.
But odd thing is, I don’t feel bad about it in the way that in the past I have cos I’ve moved on and it’s just a part of me that I wouldn’t be complete a  person without.
I own my gender identity, needs and fetishes and I'll stand up for them.
If I like playing  online childrens dress up games for hours on end well so darn what?

Jo Kitten

The more kittenish and cute way of dressing is very much a part of the kind of girl I see myself as, relatively simple sometimes with hose, other times with knee or thigh high socks.
I prefer small accessories like purses over anything really big .

Darning free zone

Hello and hope you're having a jolly good day as we move into the fall.
The great thing about the fall is the colour of the leaves changing aided by low glowing sun but there's no getting away from it, it's a little cooler than it was.
That takes me to one of the essentials of my uniform, long over the knee socks to keep my legs nice and warm.

Well, a pair of mine were getting a bit of hole in them and with my paws I can't darn them  so in replacing them I give a hit of thought what they were going to go with and these go with my school skirt as well as my black pinafore dress.
With that I got two pairs of each from Sexy Minx - not all her stuff is suitable for children - but what the heck, she's a great etailer on ebay.
Rather dash don't you think?

Joanne is reading for pleasure

A return to work this week after being poorly but immersed in littleness for the preceding two  prompts this weeks entry.
Reading  for people like me who have difficulty recognizing words and following English grammar is hard going but we are getting somewhere as I actually enjoyed for once reading while unable to work.
A good while back we were talking in chat about favourite stories and Jennifer said she liked the Famous Five series to which my reply was one of once I'd finished paying back some money I spend on a big cd box set, I'd consider getting a set cos although I did read a few when I was officially younger, I'm missing a set.
The stories feature the adventures over their vacations of Julian ,Dick, Anne and George aka Georgina and her dog, Timmy. George lives with her father Quentin, a Scientist, next to Kirrin Island that George 'owns'. In total there are 21 stories the earliest being 1942's Five on a Treasure Island to 1963's Five are together again

That bundle of books is the "classic" edition which retains Eileen A. Soper's original illustrations not to be confused the 2011 significantly altered set and only set me back just under £25 shipped from Amazon that's really quite a bargain.
One bone of contention regarding all of Enid Blyton's books is, over the years some subtle and not so subtle alterations have been made.
While this set isn't too bad from that point of view with no loss of  or major changes in characters, some of those made make no sense such George - the girl who wants to present as a boy - we are told in this edition wears a jersey and jeans however the illustrations clearly show her in shorts (something boys under 14 in the UK did wear during the period these books were written) and further research I did showed this to a fairly recent alteration. Equally a reference to Quentin in Five on a Treasure Island  threatening a spanking to George for being very awkward as well as cheeky is removed (even though it would of been very likely to had been made back then) and yet in Five go off in a  caravan, Nobby the circus boy is still threatened with a whipping and gets it from Tiger Dan his circus step father.
For all cackhanded so-called Political Correctness though I'm enjoying reading these stories and it's interesting she made 'George' the way she did without any implied criticism. A heroine if ever one needed one.

Not unsurprisingly I love school stories especially boarding school ones and one series I've been slowly collecting inspired in part by our motley alg crew's tastes is by Anne Digby and is called Trebizon that runs to 14 stories.
If that sounds terribly Cornish it's meant to be cos it's based on this super school for bright girls next to the beach and being written and published between 1978 and 1994 covering a  period when I was in boarding school (yay!) we are treated to such cultural references such as British Rail, Wimbledon, duplicating machines with their stencils, cassette tape recorders and finally Television!

That is the 1993 first three stories in one hardback book edition as published by Deans.
The stories are centred around Rebecca who joins the school having been at a London Comprehensive following her parents stationing in Saudi Arabia with a common theme being her emerging talent at Tennis although (hurrah!) she does play Hockey too! Of the other major characters we learn about her best friends Tish Anderson and Susan Murdoch and her boyfriend Robbie. We learn about the trails of fitting in when you join a school in the second term after everyone's paired off with friends, about hard choices deciding what to major in and what you may need to drop to keep your schoolwork schedule manageable.

Important text recieved!

No doubt If I ever get around to having a Smartphone this would be the sort of thing I’d see upon getting it out and checking my messages. Just image if it was I was sat next to someone and it came  up in BIG letters!!!

Elizabeth in Joanne?

This post has be coming to me this morning where I'm poorly laying across my Hello Kitty bed attire and new Duvet in my school uniform, so do bear with me.
Off and on, I've made reference to the books I read during my chronological childhood some of which I owned, some borrowed off friends or via the library of the boarding school I attended.
Indeed you may of spotted a few entries here about books by Enid Blyton that come in that category and how I've gotten new copies not least the second but last entry around St Clare's that with this rotten cold I'm reading, something that is a direct echo of my childhood in times when I read books in my dorm or the sick bay.
I recently got though a most interesting addition again an older edition with original illustrations that has taken me back with some startling observations.
With the final three in one volume of St Clare's (Back to St Clare's) was another three in one book.

This was a 1992 edition of first three The Naughtiest Girl stories (Naughtiest girl again, Naughtiest girl is a monitor and Naughtiest girl in the school)

The stories are set in Whyteleafe, a progressive co-ed boarding school that some feel has a striking resemblance to Summerhill school in Suffolk, England.
The main character is Elizabeth who you could say is a very spoilt child used to getting her own way often running with unchallenged ideas so much so she resolves to behave so badly she can't avoid being expelled from the school she never wanted to go to. The secondary character is her best friend, Joan Townsend, who tries to get her to behave which by the time Elizabeth realizes how lonesome she was as a only girl, she gets more onside with the other children and  is less of a problem to the staff.
Here's an earlier cover from one of the separate books:

Now the first think upon quickly skimming the book was I saw my reflection in in how she dressed in the original illustrations, not least the fully pleated skirt, the modern version of which I'm actually wearing. She's around nine or ten years of age so the first thing I am thinking is, *Something* around this age is lodged in me as I'm not a senior. The second  is that smile as she's doing thinks like flirting ink about - it comes to me that around this age I did some similar things with ink and it's her awkwardness is causing this lashing out as oddly enough it did for me.

E.A stood there on the left of this original illustration is the image of that era of my life, meeting together with satchel, sports kit and naturally full uniform.
One interesting aspect of the Whyteleafe school is that the children have meetings where they dole out pocket money (everyone has a certain minimum  because it is pooled and the case for more has to be accepted by the others first) and also they deal with infractions dishing out punishments which the Monitors have the power to as Elizabeth is reminded of when she acted silly.
In practise, in my school head boys and girls also did although it wasn't formally set up - effectively they stepped in and if didn't accept whatever the outcome was, it was reported to the staff.
On one  particular day I did do something really silly like get going calling one girl rotten names and it got a bit out of hand, as does some of Elizabeth's silly things but unlike it being raised at a Meeting I was called to see the Headgirl in private who wanted answers, insisted on an apology to the girl in question and used her hairbrush on me (which was as far as I was concerned better than some poxy letter from the Head to my folks who'd just send me to child welfare person dragging the whole thing out. At least it's all over with in one go.).
Like Elizabeth I got better after that as I learned to fit in better with people, having my rough edges smoothed and even became a year rep, greeting very important people which does help when as now I have to do groan up things.
Having this book has reminded me of the distance I've travelled emotionally, the difficulties I've overcome in the past through learning to be more mature in how I deal with situations. As well, it affirms what Joanne remains deep down - a little girl only just in double digits - and no one least of me should ever forget it.

Jo life: Transitioning from education to employment

To gauge the extent of some of my difficulties  you need to look at why it was the transfer from the world of Education to Work did not happen when one left the former.
As in many countries, here it is a government responsibility through the schools careers service and government departments to assist the process actively working with you access contacts that are about getting interviews, looking at career options to ensure their is in place a plan for you.
When like me you have multiple disabilities  this is more so and can cover things such as assessments of needs and  abilities that can be developed to aid employability but due to a mis-mash between being educated out of district I wasn't seen as their responsibility and I wasn't seen as that of the district our school was in and each believed the other was dealing with it.
It also was the case as not for the first time in my education, my parents were wonderfully detached from taking an active interest in this that in most situations would of resulted in this being chased up.
Thanks to this I spent the best part of eleven months out of school and out of any meaningful assistance in making a start in employment until I got a referral to a employment rehabiliation centre where I spent four months being assessed for the type of work I might be capable of, what barriers there might be and a formal plan produced.
While there, my difficulties with Math and English were noticed and so I was sent for assessment by a specialist who diagnosed I was actually dyslexic with very poor special awareness. This as with most things about me was ignored although I had suggested as much in my last year in school and rejected by my parents as having gotten one set of conditions they couldn't accept another.
There was remedial teaching in math and english offered as a part of my assessment going through basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division plus spelling, grammar and punctuation. Although I suspect as an institution for school leavers and adults it probably wasn't meant to, like an number of school leavers there, I was smacked across the hand and given a clip around the ear  by the instructors who did treat us more like children which I guess was propably true at least for me cos I was still in a upper tween mindset.
It was the last institution I received any form of corporal punishment at.

Back to St Clares!

Apologies for the brevity of this weeks edition but I'm unwell with seems to be a bad cold but never fear Joanne always comes up with something.You can thank her boarding school for that!
Picking up with the themes of returning to school where I've been trying last week to get to grips with times tables, the little adventure dayout and so on, I decided to take stock of my small book collection.
Actually it came to me last night, there were two reasons why some of the first books I bought at the end of my formal education were more like textbooks, first first being my problems in reading meant something more simplified like a study aid was easier to follow and the other was - wait for it - an early indication that really I wanted my childhood back by having some of the books I had or read at the time with me.
Anyway, I found a few books that I never read much because as good as they are (some won literary awards), they're too far above my reading age meaning I struggle to really follow them so I'm replacing them.
Why replace them rather than just give them away? Simply I realize that reading is something I need to do to improve within my own learning disabilities restrictions, my ability to read, follow and understand stories.
What I decided to do was to get the older two book collections of the original 6 story edition of St Clare's by Enid Blyton because it's a  bit more wordy than some of her other stuff so it gives me a bit of a word workout (I can look up the words in my new Dictionary and learn their meanings) and a school, based adventure story is the kind of thing I love to read (which helps keeping the interest up).
They were issued several years back with new computerized art covers however I feel they just don't look right and also Pamela Cox ghost wrote three new stories for that series that aren't really essential.
These are my 'new to me' editions:

This edition has the first three books in a single  volume namely The Twins at St Clare's, The O'Sullivan Twins and Summer term at St Clare's, written between 1941 through 1943 although many more memorable characters such as Claudine, a mischievious French girl and feather-headed Alison also feature in a world of tricks and jokes, midnight feasts, sports matches, thrilling rescues, fun and friendship as well as hard work, exams and snobbery!

The final volume has Second term at St Clare's, Claudine at St Clare's plus Fifth formers at St Clare's written between 1944 and 1945. I remember the fifth form vividly!
It's a bit odd for missing out completely the third form  but perhaps everyone leapfrogged it?
The school predates Malory Towers and is seen by parents as being  a "very sensible sort of school one  not to pander to children who feel their above everyone else.
The school Headmistress Miss Theobald is a believer  in the idea people get out of life what they put into it, telling her pupils: "Do your best for us and St. Clare's will be able to do its best for you!  Oddly enough that was what my Head teacher said too!
These editions came out in 1993 but with the artwork still looking a bit more in keeping with the period they written and the stories themselves still hold up. Indeed many 9 through 11 year readers today have written glowing reviews as have parents whose children having gone though today's supernatural based stories were given these only to find their offspring can't get enough of them.