Away day schooling

It's a bit of a while since I wrote anything around the re-creation of schooling a form of words I'm now a bit more for as "school based role play" for me implies in part I am role playing the child at school and with me this whole whole thing is more like I have that child running 24/7 in me.
Effectively you've created a school with all the things I recall of my education that I just attend.
One of the things I did involved having a math  lesson taught to me by a person being  a teacher doing what was called "chalk and talk" where they would talk away but write important concepts and any questions on the chalkboard for you to do.
For my part I was dressed in a traditional black tunic (Brit speak: "Gymslip") with tie and school socks at a equally traditional wooden desk with a  hole for in, grooves for your pens and a lift up slightly sloped lid that before flat "Go-Pak" stacking school furniture such as tables became popular you had together with matching wooden chairs with an S shape bottom.
Like most I was taught metric units as my home country went metric during this period  although for somethings imperial never went away like road distances and part of this lesson covered an introduction to Imperial weights and measures that I had to sit and write down from the chalkboard including the questions set on each unit.
This covered ounces, pounds, stones, hundred-weights  and tones when it came to Mass, inches, feet, yards, cubits, chains and miles in linear measurement.
I also had set some multiplication and division work too that I had to copy, answering all the questions.
The work from the point of view of presentation, neatness of writing and showing of workings out was examined in addition to marking the answers to questions set and my attitude toward studying.
My work was then written on in red pen.
Overall I hadn't done too badly but I had made a few mistakes down to not being as careful as I should of been as when asked to show how I got the answer where I had made mistakes, I did get it right first time so it wasn't a question of not knowing or comprehending.
Because it was that and nothing to do with my actual learning limitations which are NEVER a reason to, I was instructed to bend over the desk at each unit where this had occurred to be spanked either by hand or for one which was more around not paying sufficient attention to the work, the tawse.

This needless to say did hurt persisting for some time but to be honest, it is what lead to it that really is more the problem: I don't take the care I could to produce work that limitations aside I am actually capable of, that reflect my abilities rather than my disabilities.
In that sense what might in the past of been called "school based role playing" has real benefits in helping to change because it identifies in real-life situations those attitudes and behaviours that need correcting and delivers the lessons that in all honesty people who were less centred around the dis in my disabilities excusing me and more on abilities and training me to use them properly in same way my peers were really should of done.
For me then this bit of the weekend away was really beneficial.

Lessons from the class room for Jo.

I've  written a bit about this Weekends Studying on the main blog which also has the other entries around the start of it from the beginning of this year as it is an important part of what this year is about for me.
It is about two interlinked things: One is dealing with my actual real life weaknesses in English, particularly written and especially Math which stem from by disabilities not least dyslexia and brain damage some of which was caused directly by a playground fall which  caused my head to hit the Asphalt surface head on which left me drifting in and out of consciousness for a good number of hours.
The second is the extent to which all the above while being  a very ready impediment  to learning was affected by attitudes toward coping with my disabilities and even the extent I was to even attempt to do the very things ever other child of my age at that time was expected to do.
Some of those attitudes amounted to authorized not trying  as I wasn't expected to be capable of them so it was felt this didn't matter which of course it did as most employers and many educational institutions require good grades not least because the knowledge behind them is necessary in an advanced economy.
But in many was it went even beyond that to one of just not bothering to try anything new because a 'they' somehow would solve them problem of what to do when it comes to caring for me and having a sense of purpose.
The fact this studying has involved some rather old fashioned ideas  such as being structured (but taking into account my real needs), being expected to work hard, being given the kind of scolding prevalent then and not least being spanked for my attitude toward that when as it was at the start was laid bare in just the same some schools back then would given me regardless of my disabilities.
My disabilities don't justify not trying, in many ways it's more important for me to try than perhaps most because my need to be able to do things is greater and in the pride I feel toward doing well so far, that is the bigger thing here.
To help me grow I need to be stretched, nurtured and disciplined as part of one whole called caring for Jo.

My schoolwork

One thing I can well recall from when I went to school was there was often some tension around at least the presentation of any work I did at least as compared to any other child in the form and especially if any of it was going to be graded for National Examinations in my teens.

It's safe to say my work looked nothing like theirs with neatly drawn columns and tidy handwriting.
It's not that I don't have problems in holding a pen (it is sadly worse now due to acquired industrial injuries) and controlling fine movements because I do and they're in my Ataxia and link to two elements of Dyslexia because it is very true. Not being able to spell makes making notes difficult and forgetting what ten words back the teacher said doesn't help.
The real problem was that mainly I was in too much of rush to get it finished and didn't care about how my work looked so long at the time at least I 'knew'  what was there and what it said which often excused rather than being given a bit more help to reach everyone else's level.
A few teachers were a good deal stricter on it, not least my Geography Mistress who wasn't averse to spanking me if I didn't come up to standard without a good reason but most weren't.
After leaving school and getting a job which it had to be said I didn't really slot into, this started to become quite an issue with people I had to make hand written notes out for them not being able to read so I was called into a meeting with a Training Advisor and my Supervisor where they decided I HAD to spend ten to fifteen minutes of each workday at work practising my handwriting and handing it for marking each week and that was it.
My handwriting while suffering from an injury in the  early 1990's that can lead to me being unable to write at all is much better than when I left school and this whole episode is a good example of why being strict with me is honestly the best attitude for you to have toward me.
You need to have higher expectations than some of those in my past had for me and be prepared to make me work toward them.

Helping me learn

Looking back at things, it's possible to see how some of my behaviours started, becoming firmly entrenched.

Take dealing with tasks for instance. Let's be honest and say I have having difficulties in both the understanding of the nature of the task itself I'm asked to produce and any stages that are necessary to do it.

There are a number of way people try to deal with it.

The first is simply called you do it for me which might happen cos you feel sorry for me, I might actually be incapable of it but more often than not it's because you're feeling inpatient with me having to explain things and generally supervising.

You start to raise your voice and in the past you may well of called me names plus if you'd of been a teacher humiliated me in front of the class.

You'd just sooner just get it done to fit your time.

Another way might involved working out what I need to get better at and work on each bit, gradually bringing it together, coaching me. This may take time and a lot of encouragement as I easily get upset and feel like giving up but leaves me with something useful I can do.

Quite often that's what so-called Professionals have tried only to find little active support at home.

As crazy as it may sound I was effectively barred from the kitchen until I was 18 because I didn't know what to do even though I had been taught a bit of basic cookery at school. You'd of thought that would of encouraged but my folks have this way of doing things or rather not doing expecting you to just start things from nowhere with no support, questioning why you should even try.

So it's hardly surprising in time my stock response to seeing something that needed to be done was one of “What's that to do with me” or “I don't know how” if asked to help with looks of exasperation .

And when it came to dealing with criticism about how I might do something I learned not to avoiding it because that was more acceptable than trying cos I wouldn't be supported.

I acted like I didn't exist.

If didn't know what to do in an activity, I'd just deke out missing out on valuable activities although I did feel confident to draw in one and do a craft kit recently while with friends

That's one reason why even being set a exercise to study something and make a short report can be good idea because if you set me the task, provide encourage and guidance to make the effort but punishment for not trying, it can help to change a cycle of behaviour that might be comfortable routine but doesn't help me at all.

I can be trained to try.

Schoolgirl blouses

There's a tendency in Junior schools to replace blouses by t shirts over sweatshirts probably because it's easy to put on but a proper blouse just looks a good deal smarter on you which is what you're trying bring about - a respect for yourself and how you look.
The tie is the thing that grabbed my attention as my old Junior tie was red and off white diagonal striped and as hard as I found it to fasten,  I looked good in it.

Schoolgirl roleplaying

I'm currently engaged in a online School Roleplaying game where I play as myself in a class that has set work to produce from internet based resources and there in game and out of game rules.
It also has rules about when work should be handed in and a written punishments system outside of any verbal chastisement so as far as it is possible it has much of the emotional and psychological feel of being in school, having to work and being judged up on that so to that extent I may experience unpleasant emotions in much the same way as I did in real in real school.
I've consented to this within the game because I feel the setting of tasks and the certainty of some written punishment such as lines to complete my help train me to be more focused and that I am under disciplined which as I've talked about here was and is causing problems in my life.

The classroom

A traditional classroom with desks, sloping seat chairs with the teachers desk complete with bell. Tellingly for the era, the wooden paddle is hung next to it in full view of the whole class no doubt as a reminder to every child to behave.

A lesson from Miss

This was more like the kind of lesson we had at high school, probably more around age 14/15 as chalkboards were going out of style although the basics of 'chalk and talk' were still there with the white boards using wipeable marker pens, class lead by teacher.
In our day could could be punished in class and some of us were.

Revisited classroom 2011

One of my last classroom experiences was attending a residential training school for the disabled which was held in a former Girls Boarding School with extensive grounds about a mile way from the town centre  and some  a quarter mile off the rail station.
The reason I was there was because I'd never received any  proper training for a career, my disabilities are such I'd need support across the whole day to get by and frankly I needed a more stricter school type structure most adult colleges don't offer to learn effectively.
Things like a rigid time-table, less lectures and more chalk and talk teaching and having to wear and being inspected on smart office uniform during class times. While corporal punishment was out, you could and I was taken out to the front to verbally chastised for such things as not using your time responsibly or being late returning to class in front of your peers.
It only took a day before we all realized we were mentally at least "at school" with very much a schoolboys and girls scene going on most days in our class with some of us clearly regressing with plushies and Winnie the Pooh pencil cases being out, the emergence of gangs and gang leaders coupled with lines being formed for our meals we had to keep to.
I through persistence and firm discipline from our instructors gained my COTAC travel industry qualifications.
Looking back on this, it does show clearly I loved being 'at school' with its rituals, social structures and the firm discipline adult settings don't usually provide and it is better for me.
I do think there is merit in being punished in each others presence not least as a deterrent to others and would accept it at an age-play school which I feel is what I'm looking for.

Infant days

My education was a bit messed up, not least for spending chunks of time on hospital visits, plus visiting specialist services that took me way from class which I suspect  created problems around what in England they call the Three R's that last to this day.
I can for all the difficulties I face recall when I started Infant School which its separation from Mommy which like most back then didn't work so you spend most of your daytime in her company.
For me it involved things like being introduced to your First Teacher whose job it is to help you adjust to the routines and expectations of school such as having rules about when we speak, when we do things and when we can go to the toilet.
As ever some children seemed to get to grips rather more with this than others, usually but not always those who came from big families with older children but the allure of doing things when we wanted to rather than when our teacher said could and did the better of us.
That was when, because it was the very late Nineteen Sixties thru Nineteen Seventy-One, scenes like this would happen because we would be spanked in front of each other sometimes in twos and threes while the rest of class were to look on.
We'd feel their pain in our bottoms.
We would be encouraged to tell our friends they deserved it because they were naughty and broke the rules.
In many ways we were learning to accept having our bottoms spanked as normal which for us it sure was, that nothing could stop it unless we changed our behaviour and we were to accept our punishment.

Judy

A big influence on me was the comics I read and the series of stories in them some were reprints of older stories while others were more contemporary.
Some were bought for me, some were shared such as those from the big box full my first two schools had that we could read if it was recess and the weather was too bad to be outside playing and others were say second hand annuals, girls annuals specifically.
They usually featured girls dressed in their school uniforms typically Tunics (Brit Speak: Gymslips) in situations subject to adult authority, disciplined as we were as they felt fit as it was in that era.

 

It was a fictional world of girls I followed not least for it allowed me to set myself as one them in my imagination, a what might of been and a clear influence on how now I present as a Junior girl being an adult little and her world.