The Dorm End of year review

In the brief history of the Dorm Blog,  it's the usual thing to reflect a little on the year which externally has been eventful not least of so many artists as people who didn't just make memorable movies and records  but also played apart in encouraging me in exploring my gender identity, image and sexuality such as David Bowie and Prince and also helping to open out the mainstream to let those of us who felt left out, a space to be us and increasingly accepted for who we are. If 2016 was the year of Black Lives Matters and North Carolina's institutionalized discrimination of the Transgendered community with public conveniences in other areas we have clearly moved on.
For me this was the year my Middle/little side really stepped up to the point where the division between that and my Big side just merged in which was marked by the parking of original 'Big' blog and scrapping its related Tumblr completely because there wasn't anything that was specifically big and the whole mid 2000's blogging craze that for me just started in 2005 at Friends Reunited with a "Hey! You too can now blog" offer and experiment that got ported over to Blogger lead to a greater exploration of what I learned was Being a Little and "Age Regression" had come full circle.
It was also a year where increasingly I came out about what is "wrong" with me, why that is and how that plays a very important part in what being me means in everyday life rather than glossing over it or trying to say it doesn't define me where what I actual meant was I shouldn't be  treated less favourably for why I'm me  but  the big elephant in the room no one in authority want to own up to is I can only be me with the needs and issues I have not least being an adult child to whom adult expectations simply cannot be met by passing an equalizing Act here and aspiring to something you can never be there.
The simply and painful truth of the matter is my regression such as it is is the outcome of being allowed to function on the basis and understanding of the learning disabled with brain damage child that is living in a body whose chronological age and expectations on the part of the mainstream society is adult instead of very much a child's and are better served by being treated as through I am that child.
Chunks of this are slowly being work through in my relationships with people such as my folks who after trying the equalizing trip beloved of the learned ones who know of things but not had the life, are dealing with me as that learning disabled child, allowing me a choice without confusing me silly with a myriad of options, learning to set the personal limits to that of my actual developmental age where we accept an adult override for me in certain situations so I have a sense of freedom I can use and enjoy that doesn't stress me out nor put me in danger.
I have a caregiver in my life who helps to keep me grounded, helping me with structuring my day which I do struggle with who I can share my middle little life with as their girl loved for child-like person I am, playing and doing my colouring as well as appropriate disciplining for me as with the learning disabilities, very poor short-term memory and auditory processing disorder, it's isn't that I just may not realize what's wrong with what I'm doing, relying on talking through and trying to reason fails as it gets badly jumbled up leaving me in a bad place mentally.
When I have been with friends too increasingly this year  this whole approach of changing the way and the limits to that more appropriate to that of a junior age child who is looked after by them but encourage to do what a child of that age would for herself and those who look after her as part of a "family" is applied.
Part of what is my "Age Regression" does include more Junior  style spanking which was a part of how I was brought up as discipline rather than for any more 'adult' angle and 2016 saw more people being prepared to use that with me whenever I'd messed up.

With me this is always just in a regular domestic setting just as it was when I was officially young not taking place in adult clubs nor scened even, just administered in real time as the adults in charge feel I need it.
 

Whither I'm over a knee which is very child-like or say a desk or table, once I am in position, they pull my dress back, exposing my bottom ready to start the spanking.

Ninty-nine times out of a hundred, I will be spanked on my now bared bottom with hand spanking being common. It sounds strange but actually I feel very safe over a person's lap being spanked.

 More prevalent is the use of impediments such as either a paddle, hand brush or slipper which may start over my knickers but they will be taken down during it.
You may think I'd really hate this but actually I hate the stuff I do when I'm about of control much more because with the exceptions of school and parents of children I played with sometimes, I never grew up with No and was mainly just taken away from situations to avoid scenes so I never really learned social norms.

 Leather straps such as a Tawse can be used too which is what happened to me in November which I really felt.
For a long long time I avoided being with people because I'd get so worried about messing up without knowing it that people understandably would sooner not have me with them  but ever since how I'm being treated has started to change and I'm being spanked, I am getting better at understanding my place with people and how I am to behave around them.
Like my second best friend spotted in November I was at risk of hurting myself making something and normally I'd just ignore anyone issuing an instruction but since I've been spanked for disobeying instructions, I just did what she said because I learned people have authority over me especially when it comes to keeping me safe.
I am learning to do what I've been told and I'm sure she's pleased about that.

 Although it wasn't used this year, ultimately for the most severe infractions I can be caned and is a strong deterrent when I'm getting rather stroppy.
2016 was a year when all of this really started to come together, seeing me changing my attitudes towards others and taking more responsibility for  my own welfare by being put back in a setting I was able to cope with and starting to teach me what in many ways I failed to learn first time around.
Making sure I was given swift, very unpleasant consequences  for my actions  together with work on my attitudes toward making an appropriate contribution to  those things people do for me has been one of the best things to happen to me.
A side benefit of this has been I've felt far more 'little'  not just at home but when I've been out with people just letting that side of me out, not feeling I had to pretend to be an adult nor be so stressed out about how I was behaving I was not able to play in a group for not knowing the social rules and being feeling clueless on putting anything right.
Looking forward into 2017, I can see more time spent at gatherings of littles which is always fun to be able to just be regressed me  with others playing, I know a friend of mine certainly is looking toward some more formal school lesson sessions as well as providing help moving me on toward a level of maturity as a forever a child I can achieve.
I hope some of the super stressful stuff I had on Tumblr across last year starts to clear away as there many similar people but last year inter community strife really took me and a few others out of that headspace ironically we went their for which is a pity so I made a more middly Tumblr and a younger more visual stimulation one with a walled community that my more tween side would normally  rebel against so when anything happens at the middle one, I do have at least a safe young place to recover from as in that situation I need the authority figures keeping me from anything bad.
Losing the copy-cat person at FA, blocking them on me original tumblr and making this Dorm blog to talk more about me, my emotions and spanking in my age regression  has helped give me a voice to express more openly how I feel to the people I care about the most as bottling it up was hurting me badly and stopping me from showing the empathy I have which was always one of my good points to people.

Thank you everyone for reading this.

Christmas Edition 2016

There is a bit of annual tradition on this blog from its very start of doing a Christmas edition rather like as if we'd been around of each others houses and said "How  was Christmas with you?"
For me I was a bit late getting up as I had a migraine on Christmas Eve that was reluctant to  shift so I got dressed and came down for a light breakfast before messaging my Caregiver, BFF and opening my presents.

That's some of them stacked up so I wonder just what might possibly be inside of them?

The Beano was a staple comic of mine growing up even if today it's only available on download and we always had the Christmas Annual so getting that as a hardback with the stories of Gnasher, Dennis the Menace, Minnie the Minx and co really is a ritual I love.

 The Dandy suffered a bigger fate as it was discontinued outright but they do one off editions and a annual so I like to read new adventures of Korky the Kat and Desperate Dan of Cow Pie fame.

I love reading although with my learning disabilities I can't manage anything other than junior fiction and even then anything getting more above a reading age of 12 is hard going so Mommy bought me this First edition of the new Jacqueline  Wilson novel set in Victorian England.

She also bought me the last Historical novel she wrote in a series looking very much at life in  Great Britain from a child in hospital in the early nineteen-fifties. I'll write a full review when I've read them .

I had this originally in Paperback but had been longing to find a copy with the original text in so my Brother gave me some money toward buying this used copy lacking its dust jacket as original hard backs are really quite rare and expensive.
I had some chocolate oranges, money and biscuits too from people that care about me.

End of term

The sort of conversation I could picture at my school as one who did line up outside certain doors to the sniggers and "what trouble are you in?","What'cha gonna get" remarks other kids gave me although I didn't get into trouble at end of term unlike some.
This blog will be paused for a period after Christmas as I'll be busy helping out my family make Christmas happen and unlike in previous years in 2016 I am expected not to spending my time stuffing myself with chocolate while being online as part of making more more responsible for myself and others within my limits, helping out, doing more.
It also is the case that frankly I could use a break from a certain site too given the drama always going on and how events have effected me so badly so I need to prioritize my own emotional well-being more which this process I'm being put though is about.

Painted Black

Just when I thought things couldn't sink much lower I am dealing with some personal Tumblr drama that kicked off last Thursday when probably a bit worse for disturbed sleep I accidentally posted one (minor) spanking post on my regular Tumblr which resulted in one community mod shipping a cease and desist from using Community tag and without warning adding me to a blocklist of said community to whom I'd had no problems of belong before.
It's not that I don't disagree that was a breach of rules that I am responsible for so much that it was just a pure accident, the account changer box didn't respond so it was all tagged for as per Tumblr rules and regulations on the wrong account.  The first I realized something was wrong when I saw the message inbox indicate and It was a bit early for my caregiver.
The post was removed within an hour.
The thing I take issue with was not being asked to explain what happened, just presuming it was deliberate and that the message did not say anything about being put on a blocklist and to had been able to worked through a suitable apology to them.  Actually, it isn't that this group can't have *ahem* adult posts it's just they (rightly) go on a separate blog and if that is one the same account then there is a chance of the same thing happening to them. Indeed one person did but they were given the chance to start a fresh new account for the group.
Could I of been offered a period to show this would not occur again and to have taken some agreed steps to prevent such a slip up instead of a very public block listing?
I can't speak for many but for me at least such things do bring a strong sense of shame and mortification, you do realize what you did and how it may effect others, indeed I haven't had much sleep over it and its repercussions being extremely upset over it.
Instead it seems they would sooner leave me in a tormented mental state, pacing the floor, having some really dark thoughts.

Winter Time

Looking out watching the snowfall during the Winter months was always a thing I loved doing the Winter months as the intensity of the bluey-white snow was just so intoxicating, as you saw it fall mounds that later on you would make into snowmen or have playful  snowball fights with.
Sharing the magic of the season, learning to embrace it's possibilities when suitably attired (snow pants anyone?) the zest for a positive approach for life can be nurtured.

Regressed spaces and welfare

Sorry for bring a bit slow at putting together this weeks edition of the Woodshed but just as I was beginning to recover from the previous weeks vivid flashbacks, a related incident elsewhere brought them flying back leaving me all shaking.
To be honest I don't feel people understand just what the problem area of taking debates  around child raising to what are 18+ "adult sites", the way it may look to outsiders, how it may leave people who whatever they may be doing on such sites are dealing with traumatic childhoods that touch the issues never mind how it can be a site is seen as endorsing a point of view on behalf of its users.
Those discussions simply don't belong on age regression or spanking related sites just for "adults"  never mind having users imply a refusal to support any individual point of view supports or condones another that takes you completely out of the mindset and purpose of being on such sites.
On age regression sites in particular, we are going very much into working with our child-like sides with the mindset of our younger selves writing stories, drawing having role playing stories rooted in our pasts that had no part in grown up discussion of the issues at the time and where the attempt to takes us out of it. For some of us it is a coping mechanism that we badly need - it's not Adult News Central - with all the headlines and debates on the screen distracting us.
It is our place away from all that.
They belong in the relevant discussion forums for politics and parenting issues for those most affected by them.
Let's keep our spaces just for us and the reasons we need them.

Recentring

It's the start of the morning here so I thought I'd  make a bit of a start on this weeks entry working through the various things on my mind.
I think the first thing to say is I feel more vulnerable emotionally today than I have for a good many years between the feelings brought out from the previous week, the never ending inter communal supremely childish discourse on Tumblr losing a couple of followers, having a remove and I'm blocking you for being in the "wrong" community as defined by them order and having our age regression  questioned by an exclusive group of ...age regressors!
Toss in the English FA youth soccer investigation into abuse by a man who lived but 100 yards away from me from whose face I can still recall with a shudder and you get the picture,eh?
I just feel very much in need of a hair rustling and a hug, just to know everything will be okay and in fact I'll just colour and play with my stuffies I think cos that'll help recentre me to a point I feel good rather like the "Restore" point on a Windows computer helps when the software don't work right you restore the operating system to a earlier point where it does!
That for me always was and is where age regression was at rather than anything really adult and why generally things had been running that much better for me over the last few years cos I worked more with what's right for me rather than performing an act of impersonating others and falling badly when the real life developmental issues plowed into reality, leaving me an emotional mess.
I may not be around some sites as much as had but I think this is really what I need right now.

Chilling little style V - A change of colour and intergration

Sometimes it can seem with this life you can easily end up a load of clothes that don't slot into the non-littles world but with a bit of care you can find ways around of this.
First off and subject to some delays with the Royal Mail is a maroon sweatshirt with a rounded top which was available from a well know ebay school wear supplier even in 'adult' sizes although it is school wear and is clearly  branded on the tab inside as such.
It can easily be worn with black or beige pants or a slightly more adult skirt outside of being a part of uniform with no one being the wiser.

One reason for buying was I have a few sweatshirts in need of replacement and I do wish to merge my wardrobe.

This wine coloured pleated skirt has a similar story being also from a school wear supplier but isn't so far removed from what you may wear in some working environments being supplied by work wear companies for offices except where girls may of worn knee length socks, adults generally would wear hose (Brit speak: Tights) usually with plain blouse.
Putting the two together and adding the long socks either white or grey makes for a school/college uniform for when I'm at home or away with friends.

Triggered and trying to pick up the pieces.

The week was due to end on something on high and anyone that read the post on Friday  on the other blog may well of been forgiven for thinking that  as I looked at how over the years I had actually developed and as a result of that the blog had reflected those changes in me.
Some of those things included people who were going to have a more parental input in my life to help me better manage it because I was struggling with it providing guidance and oversight and also by consent, spanking me which has worked well.

 It's perfectly true to say emotionally and psychologically, many of us carry some baggage around with although for most it's something they have control over but for some of us it goes much deeper than that.
You might think you have it safely contained where it doesn't cause you any problems however this sort of traumatic events can jolt you back back very much in that moment reliving those raw terrifying emotions, freezing you, leaving you shaking badly.
For me personally I do go 'mute' in stressful situations, I stare out oblivious to what is going on around, I just shut down and curl up. It's a vulnerability I have to live with when I'm so overwhelmed I can't act to look after myself.
That's what makes a triggering episode like the one I had on Thursday really bad bring back painful memories of witnessing verbal abuse and physical violence at home and of inappropriate physical contact outside of it. It goes that much deeper than just something you'd rather never happened.
I supposed in a way it had to happen at a site very much for adults because with my mixture of learning/developmental disabilities I don't really slot into sites well because I do need generally a higher degree of moderation and 'hand holding' than most sites expressly for adults offer but either that sites that do are strictly under 18 or more general ones where some topics would (understandably)  be off limits.What I need more - an more older kid style of site -  but for over 18's doesn't exist.
It just happened that in innocuously questioning a part of the main site entrance,  it opened up discussion things that directly triggered emotions from those experiences that left me shaking in my tummy  just even typing it.
I just feel at the moment typing this I need  to try to get this under some control and a part of that is to take a break from the site in question until I feel ready to log back in seeing posts without all these memories flooding back.
I think the whole topic that lead to this needs to resolved, "put to bed" so the thread and everything in it can just float away or be closed off.
For me at some point when I feeling better than I am presently, I would like to work toward some permanent closure  with the individuals concerned and  not just from a personal point of view  that's obviously a very important for me but also for them to try to work through their feelings on what happened and how it's left things.
To me it is that within my limitations, I do need when I'm better to resolve all of this in a mature way rather than just avoiding people who I did really like and mostly likely never saw where things would end up.

Post 700

This blog seems very much to have been going for an eternity from the earliest days of literally grabbing all the material on a really old computer, typing at home and while for once we had some spare time at work over a few weeks, the works one too(!!!) which was a bit quicker.

Rather like me, it's been evolving over all that time as I began to try to understand what  made me, well me, how the more child-like side slotted in with the bits that deal with the adult world because with me this is less playing a role I can just click my fingers and be out of so much that it comes out of me from The Child Within.

It's seen me interact initially with people online in various forums and sometimes going through forums as I realized they were not really for me to getting to know people face to face, spending time with them for several days at a time. 

In that time with support I have been working on some of my difficulties such as Math and English finding time to study, reading either by myself or  sometimes a shared book learning to discuss it with others.

As well, this time has seen me become more confident as this adult little/middle girl as I started to get that whole life working better with additional support and structures routed very much in meeting the child-like needs I have properly so I'm well grounded, learning to do more and be more responsible.

I have been tidying up this blog a little, correcting odd mistakes, changing the odd image while preparing a couple of new entries ready for the next hundred  editions.

At the more techy side only 49% of you use Windows with Chrome followed by Firefox being your preferred browsers showing just how far we've moved from the early days of blogging.
Here's to the enduring success of Joanne's Dorm.

Away day schooling

It's a bit of a while since I wrote anything around the re-creation of schooling a form of words I'm now a bit more for as "school based role play" for me implies in part I am role playing the child at school and with me this whole whole thing is more like I have that child running 24/7 in me.
Effectively you've created a school with all the things I recall of my education that I just attend.
One of the things I did involved having a math  lesson taught to me by a person being  a teacher doing what was called "chalk and talk" where they would talk away but write important concepts and any questions on the chalkboard for you to do.
For my part I was dressed in a traditional black tunic (Brit speak: "Gymslip") with tie and school socks at a equally traditional wooden desk with a  hole for in, grooves for your pens and a lift up slightly sloped lid that before flat "Go-Pak" stacking school furniture such as tables became popular you had together with matching wooden chairs with an S shape bottom.
Like most I was taught metric units as my home country went metric during this period  although for somethings imperial never went away like road distances and part of this lesson covered an introduction to Imperial weights and measures that I had to sit and write down from the chalkboard including the questions set on each unit.
This covered ounces, pounds, stones, hundred-weights  and tones when it came to Mass, inches, feet, yards, cubits, chains and miles in linear measurement.
I also had set some multiplication and division work too that I had to copy, answering all the questions.
The work from the point of view of presentation, neatness of writing and showing of workings out was examined in addition to marking the answers to questions set and my attitude toward studying.
My work was then written on in red pen.
Overall I hadn't done too badly but I had made a few mistakes down to not being as careful as I should of been as when asked to show how I got the answer where I had made mistakes, I did get it right first time so it wasn't a question of not knowing or comprehending.
Because it was that and nothing to do with my actual learning limitations which are NEVER a reason to, I was instructed to bend over the desk at each unit where this had occurred to be spanked either by hand or for one which was more around not paying sufficient attention to the work, the tawse.

This needless to say did hurt persisting for some time but to be honest, it is what lead to it that really is more the problem: I don't take the care I could to produce work that limitations aside I am actually capable of, that reflect my abilities rather than my disabilities.
In that sense what might in the past of been called "school based role playing" has real benefits in helping to change because it identifies in real-life situations those attitudes and behaviours that need correcting and delivers the lessons that in all honesty people who were less centred around the dis in my disabilities excusing me and more on abilities and training me to use them properly in same way my peers were really should of done.
For me then this bit of the weekend away was really beneficial.

Fall 2016

Slowly waking up here after the overnight rain.
This time of the year give or take a few weeks is one of my personal favourites not least for the rich colours that vary by the hours, something living here I really appreciate being able to literally just stroll on over to the woods and fields.

Around of this time of year  I often see the local grey squirrels leaping across the trees branch by branch carefully balancing , going across the road and into our gardens burying their Winter store.
I find it really keeps my spirits up.

Malory Towers revisited

After all the excitement of last week and writing up all the adventures on Monday I'm writing what in some ways is a continuation piece from a 2011 entry of mine that kind of gives you an idea of just how long I've been blogging.
When I wrote way back in more or less exactly five years ago about Malory Towers, the  six part series of novels by Enid Blyton, I remarked about a couple of things I had noticed since originally encountering them in childhood.
One was about the illustrations which I feel is relevant not least in the Country I presently reside in because for a school based series, you see, you may well have personally even worn, the uniforms many schools have so have a mental image of what a school boy or in this case a school girl generally looks like. The tendency for cartoonish illustrations in particular used on the  first decade of this centuries editions of this series  particularly made them look cheap and detached them from their era.
I'd never of bought them as a child cos I wanted something that looked presentable and clearly hooked me into the story.
I saw the paperbacks with those images and bought at the time a nicer looking set of softbacks from 2004 that served me well until something else came very much to light.
Like with a good number of her books, the text had been altered with no clear indication and so I did pick up a 1987 omnibus edition of the first four novels published by W H Smith but printed by Methuen Children's books under license.

I didn't actually realize Dean's who were an imprint of Methuen's  did a complete  set in the form of two hard back books until very recently and given these were from the early 1990's was a bit concerned about those troublesome alterations and updates.
The first volume not so imaginatively titled Malory Towers came out in 1991, a year later than the separate six volumes issued in their Rewards series with more modernish but generally tasteful front covers.
I did check the text over as in the first novel, First Term at Malory Towers, there are clear references both to Darrel's behaviour that are toned down in modern editions and the threat to spank with a hairbrush common enough when first published but removed completely in newer editions. That was big shock I found moving to the 2004 set to that incomplete omnibus late 80's edition because it does alter the feel of those schoolgirls in a boarding school, like I was, and makes the adults responses more understandable.
This 1991 set surprisingly uses the same text as if they had used the same typesetting as that and had carried it over to the 1990 Rewards too and keeps a good number of the original black and white illustrated plates by Jenny Chapple.

While the cover looks slightly too contemporary to my eyes, the advantage of having the second volume over the 1987 is in part less weight for having just three novel per volume compared to four and again it uses a less modern so-called politically correct text.
My suspicion are that actually these three in one omnibus editions and the 1990 separate ones are just repackaged editions of the versions Methuen  had out during the 1980's with newer covers for sale by certain book sellers who specialized in discounted hardback books aimed at adults buying for children.

 Now that is the original hardback dust jacket from Third Year at Malory Towers which I feel sums up the feel of playing sports together at an all girls school wearing era specific uniform.
While to be honest I'd sooner they had used front covers more in that style for these two three in one omnibus editions, they do make for a good way to get relatively recent pre-political correct text versions often been found for just a few pounds each in good condition.
They do match my St Clares and The Naughtiest Girl Dean's omnibus editions being from the same era with their vanilla coloured spines.
I was very glad to spot these just before I went away.
Original entry: Malory Towers

The A to Z of Jo staying with you

When you get to see this I will be almost ready to go away for a few days so in the intervening time I have been super busy organizing my transportation, making sure I take what I need and that it is all been properly washed and any outstanding business is taken care off.

 

When it comes to going away things are always different with me compared to most in that in the first instance whoever I stay with assumes some responsibility for me because of the limits on my abilities not just physically but also when it comes to my abilities to exercise responsibility and make quick judgments.

In a good many respects I have the position and all the authority of a teen girl staying with relatives because while I do have a say, the higher level decisions are made for me and I am subject to house rules in a direct way.

This is for a number of reasons such as I struggle with options, often getting confused around implications and consequences to the point of just freezing over, often I require supervision to make sure breaks and get to bed at a reasonable time so I have a no later than bedtime and can be sent to bed if I'm tired.

I do wear uniform when I am with them at all times except if we're going in a place where regular folk congregate such shops and the like.

Also I am scolded and spanked by them should I be dishonest, disobedient or disrespectful to them or anyone else during that period as most adult ways of dealing with this just don't work with me but that does.

To be honest, I find this actually quite a lot better for me not least for it is a less anxious experience, that if I do mess up (and I'm prone to it) at least everything is over and done with and as necessary I'm helped to put things right to other peoples satisfaction where whenever I had been with people before I just messed up and we just got to the point I was dead nervous about going and they'd be left feeling they'd 'have' to take me or I was for a forever kind of punishment.

That it ties in with my little/middle side and its needs helps to keep some inner tensions down between trying impersonate a grown up and in many ways the lack of such a side in me which just added to the difficulties following higher level discussion of the sort you expect of adults.

It is also helping me more deal with my emotions, sorting some of my attitudes out which people just faced with a potential meltdown in adult company didn't deal with.

In another world

This could of been me so easily in actual childhood, sat in class with textbook open upon the wooden desk staring into space, daydreaming which it had to be said wasn't something your teacher way back then was very partial too and most still aren't.
Actually as much is it seen settings such as school as a attention or discipline issue, a lot of research has shown that's it not time wasted so much as time and skills at problem solving and using your imagination that can benefit people.
Of course we can all think of just dreaming up an imaginary world which for some may well be preferable to their only too real one, but that imagination can be channelled into drawing and writing fiction.
Perhaps that's why it doesn't surprise me a good number of those writers and artists tended to fall foul of the school authorities. 

This life and how it is yours

It is not for the first time that I noticed a schism across the wider community although the fact it is so  centred on Tumblr does not surprise me as ever since I joined originally in July of 2013 so the joy of seeing so many people with things in common has been heavily compromised by the sheer amount of drama between and within communities.
At the heart of it is tags and streams, the one area that makes tumblr different than say this blog because if you're anything like me you fire up your smartphone, chromebook or whatever, select Tumblr and the first thing you'll see is your stream comprising of the Tumblrs you follow, the obligatory rubbish promoted posts Yahoo added and any messages.
Tumblr isn't too fussed of itself about content so long that any blogs that is nsfw or adult are flagged and ideally if a blog is split say 99% sfw and 1% nsfw, you tag the nsfw posts as such.
Within the world of littles there has been developing a storm around two separate but partially connected things.
The first is one some of you will be aware of, under 18's interacting with adult blogs which can be safely regarded those that may feature or reference sexual acts, bondage and so on and that can include the dl of abdl.
There are two sets of concerns,  one is exposure to children of graphic material and by messaging, inappropriate contact by adults by which they are risk of serious harm by predatory adults and usually this potential contact occurs through false ages to which the best response is to report them.
The bigger more contentious question is around what I'll call littles tumblrs and under 18's.
At a more mundane level I'm what I'd call a realist in that provided a tumblr or any other kinda blog can be read without having to log into a service that *may* ask for some age verification then frankly  I know it'll be read by anyone under 18 who even if I block them will get around it by bookmarking it and signing out or reinventing their age if that's what they want. Only if I see someone is clearly under age and following a nsfw or adult blog would I act.
Only adult or nsfw blogs on tumblr are restricted to only being able to read by being logged in the so this blogs Tumblr nemesis is covered although frankly there's nothing on there than what might of been shown in some editions of pre 1988 Beano children's comic that even run a who do you want to whack competition with an image of someone with a cane pointing at a clothed bottom or the then Daily Mirror's Jane  cartoon strip when it comes to the depiction of spanking and nothing sexual.
To me, splitting that off on Tumblr make sense especially as even if you were over 18 and as a little you may not wish to see spanking images with your cornflakes!
Allied to this and in some ways something I find more troubling is the furore around non sexual littles blogs and how some littles communities are treating the people who publish them.
To recap on Tumblr's rules which are relevant so long as nothing that is adult or nsfw is published as general, then whatever is posted isn't by content breaking a rule.
If you publish a littles tumblr that say covers age regression such as plushies, dollies, cartoon characters, child-like attire and lego there is no reason why your  blog should be flagged because although you may be legally adult, there is nothing adult on there. Even mentioning Caregiver little relationships of themselves doesn't alter that.
This is where core of the  tag and labelling war on Tumblr is at.

Being a a little means in simple terms:
You 'feel' younger than your chronological years being atypical of your peers
Because of, your interests differ and *may* present more 'like a  child' in terms of attire
You may 'function' as a child
You may not be sexual necessarily although some are.
You may have or feel the need for a 'Caregiver'/Daddy/Mommy even if you do not have one
The above may not have any sexual role with you as a little
You expressly are NOT a pedophile nor is any Caregiver as you have no sexual interest in children.

It depresses me to even have darn well type that because that  is what two Tumblr communities of littles DO NOT accept.
On the one hand we have the Kink people saying all people who say  littles must be sexual because their community uses and in their opinion owns the term and all Caregivers must be sexual or at least  kink centred.
We have another interesting group, a mirror image Chire, who basically say the same and add anyone in Cg/l is automatically kink, they oppose kink and try get your super squeeky clean age regressive tumblr flagged and ban you from reblogging any of their folks Tumblrs.
(Chire apparently means Childlhood Regression and appears to be aimed those who use age regression as coping mechanism for trauma or mental illness )
That's cos they say they alone are the nonsexual age regressive community and anyone in Cg/l  who say they same is flat out lying and littlespace is inherently sexual so they send threats to you and even this morning I was sent a link to a hardcore porn blog by one just to try and 'trigger' me.

That opinion is  news to me as for as long as I've been since  past two paws worth of age I've been clearly and at times embarrassingly obviously to some younger than my peers and for period I've looked up this way way before social media came along the terms littles, caregiver etc were not owned exclusively by the bdsm community (caregiver was the term used for a person aiding usually a younger disabled adult) or any other.
For me this whole thing about being a little is that opportunity, that space to be as I am not having to pretend really grown up I can just express myself in. That space you get into when you do is littlespace and what's in there isn't inherently sexual at all.
Having a caregiver simply means you have someone who helps you when you are in that space and in dealing with any thing you may struggle with providing guidance, reassurance and if agreed as with me, discipline.
For people like me who are into non sexual regression, that's the end stop, so in a lot of respects that person is more Parental with you, treating you with the same care and same paternal instincts that a parent would of a actual child.
Frankly it's a must in my life making it more bearable, meeting my needs not least those of actual disabilities  and yet these people choose to paint a different picture on it.
I know what communities I belong in, I do not need people to define me out of spaces and I belong in Cg/l and the subset Cglre (Caregiver/little regression only) that merely signified it is nonsexual regressive caregiver little. I have no issues with people at all who have a sexual side in their relationships because they keep what is intimate to them, just that in much of same sort of way as if you had an older sibling they were going out with someone  certain stuff would never happen in view of you at home.

That 'in front of  you' I feel is the real and genuine issue on places like Tumblr so it may be as well to have separate blogs for anything that might be seen as 'adult' enabling people to choice  which they follow and can be flagged to help keep under 18's away too. I don't honestly feel there is any need to keep them away from a purely regressive Tumblr but would agree any Tumblr that was 'adult' or nsfw should mainly because of the messaging side as much as I would some concerns over content.
Obviously in so far as meets go, that's with organizers most of which would stick strictly 18 plus not least because of licensing and the risks of sexual contact with minors and any comeback from it.
The idea that Caregiver/little relationships are inherently sexual is just ridiculous.

Chores for Middles and littles

Today I thought I would give some thought to things a little or middle either in relationship or living with someone even on occasional basis can be encouraged to do for themselves
Own area
Making own bed
Getting clothes out for the next day
Hanging up own clothes neatly after wearing/washing
Making sure worn clothes are available for washing
Keeping own spaces tidy

Helping in the home 
Fixing own breakfast
Setting tables with cutlery, mats, glasses and cold refreshing drink
Clearing away and washing up afterward
Tidying away in other spaces after you
Helping with vacuuming
Feeding pets

Sometimes it can be easy to drift into a pattern where other people may not expect you to do (or be able to do)  these things which doesn't help you either with trying be more responsible and independent and may in a low key nagging way begin to undermine a relationship.
It also is the case that within reason, people shouldn't try to do that too, even if you  as a little or middle have a disability or two regardless of like a  number of folk  you may not of had to do much if any of these things in past yourself.

Talks

There are a number of things that I'd like to talk about in this weeks edition of which the first is really about the use of profiles on sites which are really a condensed way of communicating important things about you and why you may belong to a site.
One thing I do say on a good number of my profiles is I don't generally do chat simply because with my badly damaged tendons it's very painful and cuts into my ability to do other thing such as eat, dress myself and also help out in the home which truthfully is a expectation anyone should have for me to help me become more responsible.
It annoys me the number times I get  loads of requests to chat from people I haven't friended, who haven't even written  a thing about themselves that just think being a female adult little is a automatic suggestive chat up service or a means of getting something to add to their wanna Male Dominants ego to control. That I have a Caregiver too is listed on the profile but guess what? They can't darn well read!
The funny thing is I did chat to three females, one in a relationship where her partner is her (agreed) dominant, a female dominant who spanks and a young woman who was interested in what being a little and our lifestyle was all about.
The one distinguishing thing about these conversations although each had their own style, was  the respect shown in the conversation toward myself given these were not people I really knew that well and anyway on the internet you know there's stuff you never give out about you.
One rather surprising thing was that they all asked about what I wore, and having explained it was a school type uniform wanted to know what it was, the colours, talking for sometime about it without any implied criticism or having any misunderstandings that are not uncommon elsewhere.
That meant I was to explain its role in my life, that my Caregiver prefers me in it and the shape, cut and colour of each actual bit to it.
The younger one asked about meets so I explained they are generally 18+ and it was good idea to go talk with whoever organized one about their own dos and don'ts, that generally any sexual with people is kept away from  anything that's not so it doesn't cut into the experience of non sexual littles (or those who may be but aren't looking for that there).
That one also came straight out with  the question "What about spanking, Are you spanked?" which took me by surprise so there I was explaining it all, like I am spanked for being naughty by my Caregivers and other adults to some one only just out of her teens who has a younger sister who as it happens is spanked by her folks for much the same reason.
Any sense of 'adulthood' just evaporated at that point as she actual just 'got' what being a little was and actually she loved how it was with me.
The one who was in a more Adult kind of domestic discipline relationship with her partner talk quite about more in detail about the spankings comparing them with her own between a lot jokes and general good humour.
The female dominant talked quite a bit about the uniform I had on, each individual garment by the material, the shape, in the case of my skirt the length together with the pleats and my knee length schoolgirl socks. She also wanted to know about my knickers-the colour, material and shape as well as my general appearance such as build, eye colour and so on.

She really liked the idea of me being in this uniform, what it symbolizes, that whole girl to Adult Authority figure. We talked about spanking techniques, rituals such as baring, the uses of scolding, corner time and what we felt about it. Had I not of gotten a Caregiver and others who spank me she clearly indicated she would of been prepared to take me on, working through the those attitudes and behaviours I struggle with.
For me this whole experience  being able to talk openly about being being an adult little/middle was good. Moreover to talk about the attitude and behaviours I experience and how it is that I'm spanked rather like a child would be without any sense of shame or embarrassment to relative strangers who just accepted it was quite a breakthrough for me.
*There is nothing shameful in being spanked as an legal adult*

The Secret Seven and the missing words

Seeing my Caregiver is away but otherwise contactable this week  I really better be good  and get on with things here.
One of things I have made a bit of a start on is getting replacement hard back copies of my Secret Seven books that I originally wrote a bit about on here a few years ago with the bulk of them being modern edition but with good original illustrations and the other five being 1970's paperback ones.

 This series is for me a link of that nine through thirteen period where  having moved from the first 'proper' reading books I had from around  six with Mr Twiddle, I was looking for something a bit more 'grown up', a bit challenging both by the style of writing and also use of a wider vocabulary and that of older children.
It's an adventure series of a group of children who meet up having adventures while trying to solve mysteries and in it we see their personalities such as a somewhat bossy Peter, club leader.
In many ways it touches on that sense of longing to be long to a group, a circle which as a child of that age  you sure felt and in the series we see Susie, one of more quick thinking children kept out, perhaps more that she might undermine Peter than anything else.
They have a scottie dog called Scamper who rather like George's dog Timmy in the Famous Five plays a big role, big enough to be counted as a member even!
Actually it is the similarities that invite comparison between both of Enid Blyton's adventure series usually to the the detriment of the Secret Seven in which two later stories do clearly reference Famous Five books almost as if she was saying "If you read this, please consider reading the Famous Five!" but that's negate the point which is this is a self contained series aimed at younger children or children with a lower reading age which was probably why I got them given my reading issues when I did.
The series was started in nineteen forty-nine  and concluded in nineteen sixty-three and like the Famous Five editions later copies were subject not just to things such as changes in currency but also in dress where the girls generally wear pinafores rather as I do now but these were again changed for jeans or shorts and the boys wore jeans unlike boys even in the early to mid nineteen-seventies in school who wore tailored hard wearing lined shorts.
The text also was altered in recent copies to 'reflect' modern social ideas so where in the second novel, Secret Seven Adventure, Peter says to Jack as he is being scolded for allowing his sister Suzie to have his  Secret Seven badge she should be smacked for it and a grown up says to the children  the girl at the circus should be spanked for her constant fibbing, that is removed. Given it was written in nineteen-fifty that would of happened and I can well recall when I did something like that in the nineteen seventies I and my peers sure  were smacked or spanked.
It's small details like that, the references to things in 'shillings' that set the backdrop of this adventure as are things like the circus acts a child of that era saw, regardless of our own views on that today and why apart from the feel of having the hard back I'm slowly building up a collection of them hopefully all with dust jackets, to read and enjoy as I did back then.

Original entry:
Original 2012 Secret Seven entry

Families

Somedays things just come crashing to you,  a bit of the past that jolts you as if a meteor struck you as you were just walking on down the sidewalk.

It was really about some thoughts that I had with my second best friend at high school at the time, she faced a lot of physical challenges in her life but she had hours of time to try to understand me and we were chatting would of been early 1982 about tv and what we saw mattered to us.
You know, the kind of totally random teen stuff that actually in hindsight was really pretty significant for how I saw and felt.
Let me explain. On commercial tv there was a long running American tv show about family life across the decades called The Waltons that featured this extended family sharing lifes ups and down together in rural Virginia, and the head of the family John Walton Snr, operated a lumber mill and supplemented their income with a small-scale farming. They took in people and shared a lot as a family united, attending church on Sundays.
That's probably was much as I need to say for the purposes of this entry as I'm not writing a essay on the series or anything as it's what's in more modern parlance a "Slice of life" series seeing the family grow and change over time in accordance with events such as the Great Depression, WW2, the Great Society and Civil Rights  era and so on.
The thing Linda and I were discussing was Family: what it means to be in a family, our involvement or interaction if you like with with Mom and Dad, your immediate siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. The extent it is a 'unit' and all that.
We were also comparing and contrasting our own relationships  with our families to what we had been watching.
In a lot of ways she saw many parallels  between that of how she cared for them as much as they had to do quite a lot for her and the fictional family we saw.
I once said half joking to Denise one recess If it was like mine, then everybody would be off doing totally their own thing, with Mom trying to hold the thing together and me behind a chair on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
That may sound kinda melodramatic but there was and still is the lack of bonds between everybody, no real sense of feeling for one another, for me it wasn't a place of safety with one sibling who'd think nothing of verbally and financially abusing me which wasn't really helped by my being able to spot in seconds any outright lies he was telling to get more for himself as he felt hard done to and obliged to report it.
That's before you bring in Pop who'd explode at the slightest thing, throwing stuff across the room, propelling me in a chair into corners like trash, threatening to burn down the house.
You see, that's the big comparison  between what family was like for her and for me and to open about this really hurt.
This whole experience left a big legacy with me, not least a very strong feeling of longing, almost desperation to loved and cared for.
What I wanted so much was physical and emotional intimacy, a feeling beyond mere words of what it means to 'belong', to be bonded and have bonds that outlast their very beginnings, that provide emotional comfort promoting personal confidence and development.
A relationship that would teach me what I needed to know to get by with people, to be able contribute to it, helping me to stand on my own two feet as a grounded individual within the wider unit.
A wider unit that shared a common purpose, the raising of and looking after that family that was prepared discipline me in a loving, structured, affectionate way so fulfilled my role and expectations within it and our wider community.
I wanted to be...in the Waltons family.

Dynamics in a little /middle relationship

Part and parcel of the entire thing around being a little or middle is centred on the rolling back of post adolescent control (assuming  you got to point developmentally you took that from adults such as parents) on an agreed basis to another trusted adult as if they were the parent of an adult-child called you.
One reason this happens is because in order to let out our child-like feelings to the fullmost extent, it requires the security that someone else will take care of our higher needs in terms of keeping safe, having good  habits and behaviours.
It may be rather like with people such as me actually you didn't quite make it that far anyway so in that context you'd be doing a part of that anyway keeping me safe but in a Caregiver role it builds on it respecting the extent to which I'm not functionally an adult and so by agreement treating more as a child even if you do work on some personal independence.
However that situation is, there is a need, a desire to provide guidance, direction and maintain clear boundaries in much the same way as there between actual children and adults such as parents and others in authority that may cover things such as manners, personal hygiene, obeying and respecting what you are told and so on. Somethings may seem trivial such as elbows on tables others more serious but the point here is to ensure you are in your place following the rules and in much the same way as a parent is, your Caregiver is in theirs, in control, having the final say in your life to teach you what you need to know.
The whole relationship dynamic plays out in the everyday situations between adult-child you and whoever is your Caregiver or disciplinarian as you either forget or purposely push the boundaries.
Their role by agreement is the reinforcement of that role and the enforcement of the rules so that you learn over time by repetition what it is you are expected to do and to keep to them.
This whole process is called disciplining and as little/middles it is we have agreed to, often feeling it is  what it is we need and are by agreement subject to while children are but don't as legal children need to consent to it.

For many of us it will start with scolding, bring very much to the focus what we have done and what it is that is wrong with our attitude or behaviour. That's kept short with me because of my problems understanding what is said to me but does happen.
The next step is the consequence for what we did which is often a spanking, typically over the knee that might by hand or implement such as a hairbrush/paddle but may involve say the cane depending on what both of you have agreed on.
They may be time spent in the corner reflecting on what you did as your now sore bottom hurts.
What is important is reassurance-reassurance that you are a good boy/girl, that you will learn from this, that you are forgiven and loved. Ideally they should be prepared to work you with tackling why you needed disciplining because that's their responsibility in the relationship and some getting a genuine sense satisfaction from reparenting their little.
For me this whole thing is  me placing in the emotional/developmental setting that's appropriate for me - that of a child - and doesn't include any sexual motivations or related adult kinks.
To me it is the place I feel comfortable in where my vulnerabilities will be both respected and protected, not expected to cope with those things I cannot so I am happy to allow trusted adults to have a more openly parental role treating me more as a child they look after and discipline outside of my own Caregiver.

Past childhood into new adult-childhood

In some ways this post is a complementary post to this post The return of the original Famous Five  on Monday's  regular blog really because reading is a part of my regression, a getting back to my natural child-like state that puts me in Little Space as such as it is about maintaining my limited ability to read and from that to learn about new things and new words.
Sometimes people argue about  you can't have parts in your Little Space that are not of the era you were brought up in as if they are not emotionally an authentic part of you so that if say you were brought up in say the nineteen fifties, you cannot have plushies or have say books from other eras.
In my regressed world you can add some things into it so say dollies can be complemented by say a Care Bare or Hello Kitty Plushie because it's function and utility to is the same, you play with it, it comforts you as hold and hug it as the inner child you are.
In much the same way to read say the books of Jacqueline Wilson is a part of understanding a part of contemporary childhood with the objects and experiences our age in it, that can aid me understand more of this age I'm travelling through as the hybrid adult-child I am.
The core though is very much routed in era I was brought up in not least the extent to which the stories I read or were read to me reflected the social norms around us even though things were and did change over time and in that context re-writing them so much of the social structure is missing but the dialogue sounds dated even for those of us who lived through the nineteen seventies and eighties just muddles it all up.
One might as well say for arguments sake have " Noddy goes to school" re-written by (insert editors) based on a story by Enid Blyton  as miss out the whole section when in the class room a slipper is hanging by the chalkboard and when a child is naughty, is instructed to fetch it but hesitates, Noddy (trying to be obliging and not realizing what it symbolizes) says "I'll fetch it for you miss!" because that was just how it was like in the first year of Infant school where we got a few spanks in front of the class as we all learned school discipline as a class.
Such things were and are part of the authentic emotional sense of the inner-child me tapping into my experiences and to part of how we were brought up and part of Caregiver to little re-parenting.
Consider this quote:
 
"Big-Ears the goblin was always on the look-out for anything he could take. Sometimes it was an apple off a barrow, or off somebody's tree. Sometimes it was a biscuit from the counter of Mr. Butter the grocer's and sometimes a few flowers from a garden.

He was too clever to be found out, which was a pity, because a good spanking would have done him a lot of good, and might have stopped his bad ways. But nobody ever spanked him or locked him up for a night, so Big-Ears grew worse and worse. "

 It's from the "Hi Feather-tail!" Noddy story in Enid Blyton's Sunshine collection where clearly we are talking about teaching Big-Ears right from wrong from an early age in they way that was the norm then. No 'but they have (insert) syndrome so they can't help it and there is an implicit idea that it's the adults who are to work on managing your behaviour so you learn to however difficult it may be. You learn social limits, not be exempted from them.

It is very relevant because truthfully I had the same traits as Big-Ears, was pretty good at not being found out so my behaviour had gotten worse and worse in my hybrid adult-child life and why it is spanking has been put back into it, to re-parent me in the way we were expected to so so adult-child me learns to conform.

Or take the following exchange from Claudine at St Clare's one of six novels in the St. Clares girls boarding school series Enid wrote:

"If I wasn't in the fourth form I'd give you the hardest spanking you've ever had in your life, Angela. A good spanking would be the best thing you could have."

"Nobody has ever laid a finger on me in my life."
The first person speaking is Carlotta, the wild ex circus girl who is a Prefect and that is Angela's  retort.
 This like the other quote has now been removed from current editions on sale  but it rings very true in that Prefects and Head Girls did have that delegated authority with one threatening me with quite a spanking if I was caught smoking in school.
It also had to be said, it wasn't just them that did, so did teachers.
My work for a period had fell from  mediocre at best level - my school reports are a source of shame -  to that of not paying any attention and failing on several occasions to complete homework with clear warnings so I was kept back one lesson by my Geography Mistress Miss Thomson who took me into a store room and gave me a quite hard spanking because she felt it was what I needed as I was at risk of flunking my upcoming final examination. It was the best thing that happened to me because I actually passed it even though my work was usually poor and my other grades were up.
That was the kind of thing that was not so much the core plot but very much in the background of those stories I loved by Enid Blyton such as the girls boarding school  Malory Towers, St. Claire's series and referenced in the Famous Five.
For being there you got more of a feeling of how each character felt, empathizing with them in their situations that you also knew of that either wholesale deletion of a paragraph or  replacing the word with a say scolding doesn't work because expecting a scolding feels different than say expecting a spanking.
What happens is therefore more believable for being set with the social expectations and sanctions of that very era where pretty much everything else is at odds with Twenty-first century  Britain anyway.
It is in the form of novels, a depiction of the world that in the past I was brought up in so in their attempt to render a depiction of the past in terms that are seen as 'right on' so-called 'politically correct' is in so may ways a tampering with our recollection not just of these texts and how they they were a part of our lives but also of our recollection of the world as it was as that child around seven to thirteen as we lived it.
Grown ups are more than entitled to debate the rights and wrongs of our era (although a return to that era's values and sanctions is helping me no end) but in airbrushing the world we knew, they are not simply disrespecting us who loved reading these books at the time, enjoying re-reading them later in life, they fail to give a basis to explain to newer young readers the difference between now and then, muddling up the past.

The return of the original Famous Five

This edition, composed on the JoBook is part of a restoration theme I touched on on Friday being linked in part to getting back in touch with some people I was close to a few years who may have some different reasons for their interest than I but is a place where I can discuss that side of reading that for me is rooted as much part with my past and present child-like sense of being as much as a love of reading, my difficulties with reading aside.
Enid Blyton was as no doubt for many of us in the British Commonwealth the author we were introduced by schools and parents keen for us to reading something other than comics and preferable to the big threat of our era, the TV in the corner which was feared for turning us into passive unthinking consumers.
She wrote for all ages although there was a age-range guide for each series so we'd start with something like Noddy or Mr Twiddle which I loved and move through to a series like Malory Towers and the Famous Five to the very top end Junior Fiction and the cusp of Young Adult Fiction and adult fiction often tied to what we studied for English Literature around our mid teens.
I'm revisiting the Famous Five series after talking about them in 2012 mainly because of they way chunks of the situations around the lives of George, Dick, Julian, Anne and Timmy the dog have been altered dramatically that they no long ring true even if the basics of the plot remain.
What I'm in process of doing is replacing these somewhat altered versions with originals from the 1950 and 60's in hardback form.
Although much of the adventure and the sense of being young are universal across each era's children inevitably it is set in the past with it starting in 1942 and ending in 1963 so as amazing as it may sound one thing is they used a different currency and with it a different sense the value of things. 
This was one of the first things to be changed following the UK adopting decimalization in 1971 was references to money and strangely enough the decision by one paperback publisher to put all the children in Jeans even though that wasn't what was worn back then  plus ignores a common theme in the novels which is how 'George' rejects femininity as expressed in dresses and ribbons in preference to the shorts of boys and boyish pursuits.
At a stroke a big part of her gender role rebellion is diminished by removing the contrast to that societies norms.

My start point in revisiting the series begins where I first met them in chronological childhood  and that's with the first three novels that were put in an omnibus edition which to be honest is how most likely I'd of been given these novels and so I got a 1964 copy of "The Famous Five Big Book".
That contains the very first story Five on a Treasure Island that sets very much the scene introducing us not just to the Island and the children but also to their families and the social order within it, not least that the adults are the Authority Figures and that the children are spanked (and expect to be) which was the norm back then.
More recent editions remove that completely and attempt to suggest a more negotiated form of parenting that simply wasn't the case and what the children  who read the stories originally would not of recognized because the lives of Julian, George, Anne and Dick where very much like theirs in that way!

Some of the copies I have do have their original dust jackets, some of which are like this - a little the worse for wear although I used transparent tape to repair a few tears on this one - that are enjoyable to look at although because so many got lost or badly damaged copies with them tend to at a premium regardless of the actual condition of the book itself.
For me then while I love the dust jackets, it's the original text and the illustrations by Elaine Soper that have never been surpassed that are the reasons why I'm replacing the other set and enjoying re-reading the stories as they were originally written as I identified with them as that child.
I don't appreciate having my memories messed with.

Links:
Famous Five 21 book set (Joanne is reading for pleasure)

Light and Shade

Sometimes you might think this life may be either all matter of fact or really a rather austere, feeling like you're on the edge of your seat at all times and it's true much of what you on blogs on Tumblr and that seems to have that kind of  trope running through it.
Well it's not for all of us and certainly not in mine as there's much sweetness and light  that starts from our morning exchanges with heaps of wit and humour like when I say I'm exploring the kitchen on all fours and  my Caregiver just says "Hmm better be careful of your bottom, it's such a appealing target like that!" playfully hinting of a smack or two with no malice or anything. With us even something that reference spanking can be fun cos we knew when things are being for laughs between us and when it's serious.
So in certain ways it almost mirrors the kinds of childhood experiences most of us had and how that made it easier as we got older to discern more subtler emotional means in how the people around us interact.
Authority figures played with us even if had a more serious role like showing how to do something or being the class teacher because they saw that helped us relate to them as much as we learned to pay attention following their rules.
Even if I did do something to which He (or anyone else for that matter) had little alternative than to go give me a spanking, it doesn't matter how red my bottom may of become, afterwards it's all over with and I'll be laughing and playing with them as if nothing had happened.
That's cos as far as any adult authority figures  go I'm just a good girl who  makes mistakes for which I'm corrected to help me learn from them and so there's no reason we can't go back to having fun in our relationship one that's taken care off which is how at at boarding school going from sore bottom to giggling in a quarter of an hour.