Looking back at the last year

As a few entries touched on, I went from a situation in my late teens with very little effective discipline of any kind to the removal of anything short of being made to leave home without having the very attitudes corrected and by late 2014 things were in a mess.

More by chance than anything discussions at various places lead to me finding a Caregiver who accepted and was prepared to work with adult middle me who made it plain they wanted me in school uniform and they were going to discipline me as that schoolgirl.

 They made it a hard rule that My knickers were to come right down for all punishment spankings so my bared bottom was going to pay the price from now on for all infractions, looked at my problems  and we agreed a set of rules to help me change.

And not just a  slipper but a hairbrush, leather and wooden paddles too as I increasingly learned to present my bottom for correction as just an everyday part of my life.

 
It wasn’t long before I felt so at ease with it that talking to other trusted adults who knew me and my problems well, that they took on a disciplinarian role to a middle who they also knew as one who is in school uniform, agreeing to spank me whenever I’m with them.

For good measure measure many of little/middle friends know about this, do know when I’ve been in trouble and are supportive because they know I can be more mature and considerate if I want to be.

It was through the discussions through them that quite against the odds caning something I only had at school came back as an option in more severe infractions with a variety of different canes being available to use when extinguishing a behavior or attitude was required.

Given it worked then I can't see it failing to keep my behaviour and attitudes in decent limits. 

Other things such as the Tawse and Martinet are agreed options too.

It was a long, painful process with some elements such as having more trusted Adults re-enforcing my Caregiver by disciplining me too not even in the original plan but it has started to work.

 
Who knew this was just what I so badly needed from Adult Authority figures who cared enough to step in and prevent me from falling while also working with guidance and support on changing me so I never get to that point again.

Please support spanking me. You know it  makes sense.

Age regression

What does age regression mean to you?
It’s not a phrase I use simply because my Middles with a little side flows from my inner child in real time less than the notion of say taking on a pre-defined role with an script, running more with actual child within emotional responses and  needs as it happens in real time. It’s more space for my Middle with little side to express herself with the ‘play’ being the setting where she comes out.
It also is the case with developmental disabilities and brain damage, even at school, not least high school, I was considerably younger than my years which left me out of sync from my mid teens onward with most of my peers although I could share in say a love of music and some movies at least but with a lot their more grown up interests and sexual references going completely over my head, like they’d be talking about making out and I’d be more interested in having a teddy bears picnic or a tween sleepover.
For me those situations either on line or in playmeets  with some of my friends over here are very therapeutic to me because they’re where I can really let that side of me out without the fear of people poking fun although the community where I live are very tolerant of my child-like ways and being know to have “special needs” does run  to my advantage in that way, allowing a greater degree of self expression than I’d of imagined after leaving high school.
How do you express you inner-kid: online? offline as part of your everyday life?
Online is fun as I am very childlike, cracking lame jokes, getting super excited but thankfully most people are at least tolerant of my childlike ways although I make serious posts on non IK sites but am very open at sites like DDLG World or Girltalk.to.forums about my little side sometimes really regressing in say a IK chat room
In what we call Real Life, as will be apparent later on, my 'big’ and I express ourselves pretty much the same, which can be fun  cos I just can’t help being myself as I use child-like phrases and words instinctively, often have plaything with me (my last works colleagues 'got it’ and were super understanding of me being very much a child to the point of buying childrens gifts at Christmas),  do dress in a more child-like way, often have cute plushies around, and easily move into little/middle headspace when I’m out, playing with thing.
My IK really comes out at Adult Little Girl meets and sleepovers, it’s just like boarding school which I loved having been to one and I’m always dressed as Middle in either playwear or English school uniform which fits me perfectly.
How do you view your innerkid? As an integrated part of you? As being totally separate? .. or maybe you don’t feel you have an innerkid per say just feel littler.
The answer to this is simple  which is to say I don’t have much of adult sense of self through the real world impact of learning, development and intellectual disabilities to the point much of the adult world is beyond my personal comprehension, having no interest or need to. Basically I’m a child with a big age number living more like a child apart from paying taxes and that.
What about discipline? Does it feature in your ageplay needs and to what extent?
I struggle with things around getting things done on time, do put off important things for more fun in the moment activities, badly need structure and am capable of being disrespectful of others because I get more into what I want then and there without considering them. As well, I don’t always judge situations well and my abilities especially in  emotionally stressful situations to keep up with and process verbal reasoning can get so poor that it just ends up jumbled up with me getting more and more frustrated with that person.  Grown up approaches to disciplining me simply aren’t effective because they just can’t go in.
What works better with me is having clear cut rules and rigid boundaries around what I’m expected to do and clear consequences which is what my mentor/caretaker has been working on with me since just before Christmas. The main focus is around working on bring more permanent changes in my behaviour and attitudes rather than just the use of discipline through talking about situations and one on one guidance.
Discipline forms an important part within the maintenance of those rules though, flowing very much as the consequence delivered for breaching them in the way as a child  it would and so my mentor/caretaker does use corporal punishment with me as so an increasing number of trusted 'grown ups’ when I’m in IK situations involving them with permission and appropriate discreteness, often when I’m dressed more as a child too.

I find being disciplined less stressful than wordy verbal scolding, feeling very calm over a knee while it also certainly has helped together with the guidance and love of others in improving my attitudes and behaviour no end. My parents have little idea what this is about but they’re really impressed by how much I’ve improved.
The aftercare is really good and I find afterward its like I’ve been 'reset’, centred anew with no past offences hanging over me although it does hurt.

Disgraced Jo gets it

 

The week had began most promising with both having a  pleasant day with Dad who I have issues with for like ages working something out that enabled us to share a bit of time together as well as helping Mom out more while she’d been poorly but ended up some other place, despite rather than because all of that.

To begin with I had been given some homework by Sir that I had actually done on time and spend quite a bit of thought over before writing quite a lot  which is really around me, discipline and our relationship when it comes to it.

But there was a question I had to answer in this and it was if there was an infraction I needed to own up to? Well I could not lie to him whose presence in my life has made such a difference so I had to tell him the truth and the whole truth at that.

I had been asked a few times to clear up my space which had gotten over run by used jiffy bags, boxes and so on to the point you couldn’t get to clean around it and you’d need to be agile to get around of it  on your legs without walking on something or other.

Well, it wasn’t long before I got the message all right as I was due for a “Sound Spanking” which wasn’t an expression I was that familiar with but then you, dear reader probably think I should of  been before all this.

Then I was ordered to drop my knickers right down and spanked both with slipper and after a short pause again by the wooden hair brush while bent over a chair rather a lot of times so by time we’d finished my bottom was extremely sore and practically on fire. I had cried toward the end and after pulling my knickers back up, stood hugging me teddy as a I rubbed my smarting bottom.

I then had to sit on hard chair in contact with my knickers for half an hour facing the corner amplifying the discomfort from the spanking to further internalize it something I’d forever associate with my actions. That was followed by something new to my punishments, hand written lines to write too, 100 of them .

It was the most painful spanking in my whole life still leaving after a few days my bottom  still painful and and would like to thank him for giving me, his little, the Sound Spanking I so badly needed to change my ways which is is going to help me do. As I explained, the lines are very much child like but did give me a sense of closure on this infraction that I find I need.

I am grateful as his little, he takes the time to understand my needs not least my need to be spanked and to use that in his mentoring approach helping our relationship and his parenting of me to and for my own good.

Spanked Jo

So here we go two weeks in guess what?
Joanne's gotten a Stress Relief Spanking
Basically it's one that's administered when you're stressed.
It's not that I've done anything wrong (so far) but may be on the edge of misbehaving by losing my temper.
This  isn't just being administered to alleviate my stress  but also is to prevent me from getting Punishment Spanking caused by argumentative behavior or other negative attitudes building up in me.

My skirt has been pulled up and twenty swats administered across my thin knickers with a rubber soled slipper.
My bottom is stinging several hours afterward but as this is to happen to me from now on, I feel I ought be grateful for being stopped. And I am.
Thing is it also has confirmed something  important, that I'm a girl who needs to be spanked to keep me on the straight and narrow, to control my urges to lash out when beyond reasoning and what lies with the child.
The Child needs Parenting.

A perfect fit

Not the outcome you expected but one that wasn't unknown as the slipper, perhaps with you having to bring your own slipper to be used to spank you was so normal back in the day.

Time to change NOW, Jo

This is a staple of my childhood, having many pairs both at home and certainly for school as for anything outside of ball games you simply had to have a pair in your PE Kit, the thing that used to get in trouble for leaving purposely behind even though I did know I need them.
Back in the day, most were lace up which I struggled with  with very poor hand-eye co-ordination and required help doing them.
It also wasn't by any means unknown for people such as gym mistresses to use slippers or gym shoes to spank you with if you were being less than co-operative or disrespectful which certainly was the case when I grew up.
They certainly make a big impression on your bottom

Birthday edition

It's another year in my life so naturally enough I got card, some presents and even gotten taken out for a birthday meal all of which very kind of people but I'm still young enough to need a spanking too and in this country they don't even give you birthday spankings either!
Now that would be quite something for me to get! 

We all know the infatuation I have with a certain cat not least HK appeals directly to my inner chold side loudly, well I got the Mouse Mat a few weeks ago.

Somehow it just feels appropriate you hover your mouse over it although HK is a very well behaved Kitty so she won't kill it!

Aww................

Ms Jo IV

I'd like to recall an adventure from my past this month.
When I was a child, we went to a old Victorian school, the sort with gender segregated entrances and playgrounds on the outer limit of our village.
Being a country area, we were surrounded by farms and what not but right next to the school as this Apple Orchard, just to the right of the rear path out of the school  to a cluster of similar aged terrace properties.
This if you were an ace tree climber was an irresistible temptation not just for the the ability to see just how high you could climb but also for that yummy fruit, that is out this time of year.
Thing is many a boy and girl had indeed done this before so the owner had gotten wise to it and equally the Headmaster had received numerous reports, so in each school Assembly a stern warning was always issued not to Trespass and Steal from it otherwise you'd be in serious trouble.
So we'd figure out a way of getting in each year and fail being sent to the Headmaster for a spanking with the Slipper with our classmates fully aware of what was  about to happen.
It may not of stopped all of us but kept most of us in line during that period.